Jim Hancot

Lions vs Buffaloes vs Crocodiles

2007-08-10T12:39:00.000+02:00

Amazing.

Rocky the American Irish Republican

2007-07-21T21:37:00.000+02:00

This is. Quite possibly. The funniest. Youtube video. I have. EVER. Seen.

"Mike Stone"

"Fee-nee-ans"

LOL

Would-be Belfast Car Thief Gets His Comeuppance

2007-06-28T17:46:00.000+02:00

And how. This on the Belfast Telegraph:

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/article2717803.ece

This is the shocking moment when a gun-wielding thug was knocked out by a passer-by as he attempted to hijack a car in west Belfast.

The drama was broadcast on website YouTube after erupting on the Falls Road last week.

The carjacking was stopped only when an angry onlooker intervened and punched the would-be car thief to the ground.

In the video, a man can be clearly seen running to the rescue of the thug. He too was knocked to the ground.

Eye-witnesses claimed that there were two women and two children under eight years old in one of the vehicles the man attempted to hijack.

Slap it up him. Apparently he's in intensive care, and apparently he's a grade a scumbag, who has terrorised the area for years.

Deranged Ex-Presidents Should Learn To Shut Up

2007-06-20T12:06:00.000+02:00

This from the moron who said of Hamas that besides winning a fair and democratic mandate that should have entitled it to lead the Palestinian government, had proven itself to be far more organized in its political and military showdowns with the Fatah movement of Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas.

He also said that the Bush administration’s refusal to accept the 2006 election victory of Hamas was “criminal.”

Dear dear. Maybe he should move to Norway.

Allez Sarko!

2007-06-14T14:40:00.000+02:00

I think Sarko is great. If that makes me a fascist, then get it right up ye. Here's a cracking delayed Sarko press conference at the end of the G8 summit, where he explains away his lateness through a long conversation with Vladimir Putin. Aye right! Wrote!

Basketbrawl

2007-06-14T13:17:00.000+02:00

I don't generally like basketball. Except when it becomes a contact sport, like here. Like Matthew Simmons, those fans get what they deserve.

Scientology Explained

2007-06-12T22:24:00.000+02:00

The History of Scientology explained, thanks to South Park:

South Park - History of Scientology
Uploaded by ZexionVI

These freaks are doing a bit of publicity drive in Berlin at the moment, all under the innocent guise of 'free personality tests' for passers-by. No mention of who they are, of course. Doughnut Boy Andy has done a lot of research into them, sadly in German. Maybe more, if I can be assed.

Freak Wind Takes Out Players In South Africa

2007-06-03T21:27:00.000+02:00

This is one of those youtube clips that both appalls and fascinates me at the same time. The linesman being taken out is horrible yet hilarious...

The Exploding Whale

2007-06-01T15:25:00.000+02:00

I'm still hysterical every time I watch this video. It's when the whale blubber starts to rain down on the camera team and the onlookers, and panic sets it, that sets me off. Classic.

History Today 1: "My Life As A Prostitute"

2007-05-30T11:59:00.000+02:00

It's back! From now on, this blog's going to be all about my favourite youtube clips. Here's on of my all-time favourites:

Good old Mary Whitehouse Experience.

Kia-Ora, a-boogie-boogie Kia-Ora!

2007-05-20T21:27:00.000+02:00

Me, my brother and sister used to LOVE this advert. We used to run around the house singing "a-boogie-boogie Kia-Ora" and "I'll be your friend". EEjits. Well, it's now been put on youtube, and I'm delighted.

'It's too orangey for crows' wtf?!

Slightly dodgy, bordering on the racist, but a classic nonetheless. They don't make 'em like they used to.

Bye

2007-04-25T12:45:00.000+02:00

Blog is dead. For many reasons. Mainly cos I can't be assed anymore.

It's not been emotional.

Hancot Plays Ball!

2007-04-13T11:03:00.000+02:00

Still no internet, not until Monday.

Lots of football though, an appalling TeBe match (complete with broken camera), 2 cracking Champions League nights, TeBe game tonight and Hancot in playing-and-scoring shocker! Report on Part-Time Supporter:

AFFI-Chemnitz Indoor 2007

Thanks to Smurf, I may get to listen to the Blues hopefully win the league on Saturday, even though the game is not live on internet radio. Rumours of a new banner abound...

Offline

2007-04-02T22:36:00.000+02:00

Thanks to our 'great' ISP, Arcor. End of contract, they pull the plug, no forewarning, no offers for a new contract, no letter, nada. And this despite our bills always having been paid regularly. So here I am, in holiday fashion, in an internet cafe, keeping up with the Blues and some friends.

Oh, I ran the Berlin half marathon yesterday. And did it in 1h 40m. Very pleased, for a first attempt. And doing fine today, except for the huge blisters on my feet.

United Nations Human Rights Council

2007-03-28T23:07:00.000+02:00

I knew the UN Human Rights Council was as corrupt as hell, but it wasn't until I read the Jerusalem Post last week, which told me that:

1. This council has only ever passed 8 resolutions condemning human rights abuses, and
2. ALL of these have been against one country, ISRAEL.

"By the beginning of 2007, the Council had spent much of its three regular meetings and four special sessions focusing almost exclusively on the actions of only one country, Israel. The Council has passed eight resolutions condemning Israel, and none condemning any other country. More resolutions targeting Israel have been proposed for the upcoming session."

"The new UN Human Rights Council has specifically condemned only one country, Israel. It voted on 30 June 2006 to make a review of alleged human rights abuses by Israel a permanent feature of every council session. The Council’s special rapporteur on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is its only expert mandate with no year of expiry. The resolution, which was sponsored by Organization of the Islamic Conference, passed by a vote of 29 to 12 with five abstentions. Israel, the United States and some human rights groups raised concerns about this revival of a practice of the UN's discredited former Commission on Human Rights."

Thank goodness therefore for UN Watch and its great spokesman, Hillel Neuer. Just the other day, he stood up and roundly condemned the UNHRC, their blatant bias and disregard for the human rights of all people across the world, including the Palestinians. Here's what he said:

So what of the mass murder, rape and genocide in Darfur? What do they have to say about this? Answer: NOTHING. What do they have to say about indiscriminate rocket attacks by Hamas (ruling party) and Hizbollah on Israel? Answer: NOTHING.

And the reply of the sitting president?

"REPLY BY U.N. HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL PRESIDENT LUIS ALFONSO DE ALBA:

For the first time in this session I will not express thanks for that statement. I shall point out to the distinguished representative of the organization that just spoke, the distinguished representative of United Nations Watch, if you'd kindly listen to me. I am sorry that I'm not in a position to thank you for your statement. I should mention that I will not tolerate any similar statements in the Council. The way in which members of this Council were referred to, and indeed the way in which the council itself was referred to, all of this is inadmissible. In the memory of the persons that you referred to, founders of the Human Rights Commission, and for the good of human rights, I would urge you in any future statements to observe some minimum proper conduct and language. Otherwise, any statement you make in similar tones to those used today will be taken out of the records."

Denying Darfur: UN Watch Confronts Sudan and Allies:

As always, an inherent double standard is applied to Israel and the rest of the world. It would be funny if it wasn't so perverse. The UN is a sick joke.

Life As A TEFL Teacher

2007-03-21T15:50:00.000+01:00

Another Wednesday, another lazy day.

My serial canceller didn't cancel this time; she just left after two hours, as she had toothache and an appointment with the dentist, so I was paid 4 hours for the price of 2 this week, still not bad.

Wednesdays (and Thursdays) are the split-shift days of the week for me, ie the days I work in the evenings. It's a necessary evil of TEFL teaching; afternoons are always quite quiet (2 words that cause my students much gnashing of teeth :) ) and evening classes are popular for those that have to work during the day. I don't like evening classes much, because for me, that's the time of the day when I should be kicking back with a beer and relaxing; but at the start of the year, when not many lessons were going, I gave in and took 2.

This leads to split shifts. An easy life in some ways, afternoons off, only working the equivalent of 6 hours for 8 hours' pay. But it means the afternoon is spent always with the knowledge at the back of your mind that you have to get changed and go off and teach later.

At least I can get back home in time on Wednesdays to cook something before Champions League comes on...

Problems my students have had this week:

- saying 'stay' instead of 'stand' (German 'stehen')
- false friends. German 'bekommen' is NOT 'become', but rather 'get', as in
"Next week, I become a new car". Quite a trick!
- "What's ____ like?" They don't get that this means, more or less, "How is ___?" Fair enough, it ain't very logical.

Hancot's Weekend Of Football

2007-03-19T23:26:00.000+01:00

Only on Saturday this time, an altogether bizarre footballing experience. Choice quote:

"So, in essence, I travelled 45 minutes to a match I didn't want to be at, just so I could look at a scoreboard for updates on a match taking place 5 minutes from my home"

Here's my report onTeBe Party Army.

Other than that, I have been mainly watching Prison Break. Great show. Kraviwannabe, prison officer in the US, assures me, when asked if the show resembles real prison life:

"yeeeeeeeah.....exactly the same, except entirely different! ; } Real prison is much less dramatic and more boring 99.99% of the time, punctuated with .01% pure adrenalin!"

Next weekend's football report will come from Wonderful Vienna!

Life As A TEFL Teacher

2007-03-14T16:31:00.000+01:00

Cancellers. I love 'em and hate em in equal measure, depending on how late they cancel.

Love 'em:

Friday 09/03/07. I was supposed to have a lesson with a big wig in a Berlin newspaper publishing house. This guy is a notorious canceller. I get there at 9.50, ten minutes before commencement of the lesson. I'm met at the door by his PA, who informs me he is in London for a meeting and as such there will be no lesson. I don't mind this piece of info for 4 reasons:

1. Turns out she phoned the office 30 minutes before scheduled commencement of the lesson, less than the 12 hours stipulated, so I get paid anyway.
2. The trainee's office is literally 5 minutes down the road by bike, and I get 6 EUR travel money in effect for keeping fit, so it's all good.
3. It meant I could go home very early and go running instead. Sweet.
4. The material I had panicked to get finished in time is good for next time.

Hate 'em:

Today, 14/03/07. Same canceller woman as last week. Difference was, I got down to school today, and saw she was down as having cancelled on the list. I checked my emails, and it turned out that my gmail account that's not working properly on my laptop at the moment DID have an email informing me of the cancellation in good time, ie more than 12 hours before the lesson. So I got up early and cycled down there early for nothing. However, seeing as I'm in optimistic mood today, this had its good points:

1. I had free time to go running again, 13k, Berlin half marathon, here I come!
2. Builders have started installing cable in our house and the drilling and cutting was loud as hell, so I couldn't have had a lie-in anyway.
3. It was a gorgeous morning, and I could enjoy it.

Otherwise, teaching is going ok. Struggling to get present perfect (have played etc) across to Germans whose equivalent construction in their language means something else, but that's life.

Hancot's Weekend of Football Pt 94

2007-03-12T21:40:00.000+01:00

Friday, German 4th Division North East: TeBe win 1-0 with a late goal:

TeBe 1:0 BFC Preussen

Sunday, German 5th Division, Berlin: Makkabi draw 2-2 at Union Berlin II.

1.FC Union II 2:2 Makkabi Berlin

Take a look and wonder at my first steps in the world of camerawork, and my continued appalling photos.

In other news, the neutral, impartial BBC are at it again. One of their journalists has been captured in Gaza:
Fears for BBC Gaza correspondent

A tragic story, especially for Mr. Johnston's family, and something to be condemned, especially those who kidnapped him, eh BBC?

The corporation said it had been unable to contact Alan Johnston, but did not comment on Palestinian reports that he had been kidnapped.

Strange that. Somewhat reluctant to condemn Palestinian 'terrorists' (inverted commas copyright of the Beeb) though, aren't they? Especially when their journo is there to side with the poor oppressed Palestinians, who only want peace:

"It is his job to bring us day after day reports of the Palestinian predicament in the Gaza Strip," said the BBC's diplomatic correspondent, Paul Adams, himself a former Middle East reporter.

I smell a rat.

Hancot Cooks 2

2007-03-09T08:13:00.000+01:00

Here's one I made earlier

Looks pretty simple, and is, but fu cking lovely, and dead easy to make. Dal curry and tasty Staropramen, perfect for watching Champions League and toasting Celtic getting knocked out (hard luck, bhoys).

This is about the only meal my super-fussy, discerning flatmate likes of those that I cook, so it must be good. Plus I cooked enough for three days so I'm still eating it :)

I'll make some woman a good husband one day. Aye right.

Life As A TEFL Teacher

2007-03-07T16:27:00.000+01:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a work-shy kind of fella, and proud of it too. I don't mind working sometimes, and can work 40-hour weeks, it's just that I'm not motivated to do stuff I'd rather not be doing.

The whole English teacher thing is more or less the default career option for Brit/Irish Littlest Hobos such as myself, to enable us to earn a crust wherever we go. I don't do it willingly, I won't do it all my life, but it pays well everywhere and as such means I don't have to work full-time.

It's even better when your students don't actually turn up and don't even call to cancel, as happened today. I was supposed to have a 4-hour lesson (in the teaching world, 'an hour' lasts 45 minutes, so it was strictly a 3-hour lesson) with a notorious canceller, who has gone through at least 6 'trainers' (in the Business English world, we don't have 'teachers' and 'students', rather 'trainers' and 'trainees') in the past, but has been surprisingly good with me and cancelled seldom, I like to think my dashing good looks and stimulating lessons are the reason for this, but I'm deluded.

Anyway, she never weighed in today. As stipulated, I waited for 2 hours, reading the newspaper to pass the time and getting some interesting ideas for blog posts in the process, then signed her as a 'No show' and made on my merry way. Naturally, I get paid for all 4 hours. My flatmate says it's shit and I could have had an extra 2 hours in bed, but I like being made to get up early, plus if she'd cancelled normally I wouldn't have got paid handsomely for doing Sweet FA.

I have one of my two weekly evening classes presently, but they're a beginners group, a lot of fun, and they love me. But always look at the positives, the school is only 15 minutes away by bike and so I'll get a half hours' exercise in too. There are tougher careers.

German Anti-Semitism Watch

2007-03-07T11:15:00.000+01:00

This time, two of my favourite targets in one: the German Catholic church.

Sueddeutsche Zeitung: "Nothing Learned, A Moral Failure" (German)

Israel's Ambassador accuses German Bishops of Demagogy

A group of German Catholic bishops made an official visit to the Palestinian TERRitORies in the past few days, visiting Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Ramallah etc. In the course of the visit, they showed they had learned nothing from history, and were following in good (German) Catholic anti-Semitic tradition.

1. Eichstaett bishop Gregor Maria Hanke during a visit to Bethlehem:

"In the morning, photos of the inhumane Warsaw Ghetto in Yad Vashem, in the evening, [we're going] to the ghetto in Ramallah"

2. Augsburg bishop Walter Mixa spoke of a "ghetto-like situation" and said that this was "almost racism".

3. Cologne Cardinal Joachm Meisner was reminded of the Berlin Wall and, standing in the shadow of the 'Israeli Separation Wall' (Security Fence) said that in such a way, one should pen in animals and not humans.

Unsurprisingly, Israeli officials and German Jews are outraged by such criticism and comparisons.

The Central Consistory of Jews in Germany were very critical; vice-President, Dieter Graumann, said:

"These statements have an anti-Semitic character"

Israel's German ambassador, Shimon Stein, accused the German Catholic church of demonising Israel and creating demagogy:

"When one uses terms such as 'Warsaw Ghetto" or "racism" in connection with Israeli or Palestinian politics, then one has forgotten everything or learned nothing or has morally failed".

He accused the bishops of not having informed themselves of the causes that led to Israel taking such security precautions in order to protect themsleves from terror. He wondered why they hadn't bothered to meet with any of the 1000 Palestinian terror victims since 2001 who were murdered simply for being Jews.

"The conservation of life takes priority over the quality of life"

He said that fences or walls can be taken down again under certain political conditions, but that victims of terror cannot be brought back to life.

And there you have it folks. The perversion of German Catholic heads criticising Israel for racism and oppression, and using Nazi crimes as a comparison, something their 'venerable' institution turned a blind eye to, is staggering. They ought to have kept their mouths shut and concerned themselves more with finding out why the Christian population of Bethlehem, and the PA in general, is falling dramatically. But then, perverse beings that they are, they'd have blamed that on the Israelis as well.

According to the German Catholic church, Jews have no right to defend themselves against terror; if they do, they're like the Nazis. Jews are only allowed to be victims. Holy guacamole.

Stats on how many terror attacks have been prevented thanks to the Security Fence to come:

THE ANTI TERROR FENCE

German Anti-Semitism Watch

2007-02-26T14:18:00.000+01:00

photo from AFP

Hat tip: ADF Forum

From ynet.com:

Jewish kindergarten in Berlin defaced with Nazi slogans

‘Sieg heil’ and ‘Auschwitz’ scrawled on walls, smoke bomb thrown into building; police have no immediate suspects

Associated Press

A Jewish kindergarten in Berlin was defaced on the weekend with swastikas and other Nazi symbols and slogans, police said Sunday.

The damage, which also included scrawled slogans like "Sieg heil" and "Auschwitz," was discovered Sunday afternoon, police said.

A smoke bomb had been thrown into the building but had not ignited.

Police had no immediate suspects.

Bear in mind that althought this kind of behaviour happens in the UK, France and elsewhere, many (probably most) Jewish institutions in Germany, synagogues, kindergartens, schools, cemeteries etc are under 24-hour police protection, CCTV, huge security fences etc. I used to teach in a Jewish kindergarten, and just to get in, I had to bring my passport, be vetted at the gate via video camera, go through a turnstile, and be searched. And I'm one of the good guys. Madness.

Gary Mulligan 9 Robbie Fowler 7

2007-02-25T16:44:00.000+01:00

Lead Boot Competition

Gary Mulligan 9

Robbie Fowler 7

(Click on the links for the player stats, Fowler has hardly played and STILL he's nearly level with Mullers)

Thought it time for he monthly update on this prestigious competition, especially as Fowler had a rare start yesterday and promptly scored 2 penalties! Chuffries's money isn't looking so safe at the moment, and this despite him having played 38 games to Fowler's 17!

In other (football) news:

Was at TeBe's first competitive match in 2007 on Friday after a ridiculously long winter break. Match report, photos, and a silly video of eejit fans on:

TeBe Party Army

Linfield played Dongel Celtic at home for the first time in 17 years yesterday. And while a lot of progress has been made in this time, a few Linfield fans again dragged the club's name through the mud. My review here:

Part-Time Supporter

Hancot Cooks

2007-02-24T21:59:00.000+01:00

Would like to say I made these specially for Pancake Tuesday, but it was actually a few days earlier. Pancakes are dead easy to make, but it was the first time I'd ever made them. A recipe from a 'vegetarian student cook book', some rocket salad and cottage cheese, washed down with a nice cheap red, lovely.

As you may or may not know, I was a veggie for 5 years, not any more as basically I couldn't be bothered anymore, i'd lost the inspiration and was tired of being so fussy all the time. I still only cook vegetarian though, except for hotdogs or the occasional weekend fry-up like today. Mmm.

Quiet! Order! Cleanliness!

2007-02-23T12:25:00.000+01:00

An occasional confirmation of German stereotypes

I don't normally agree with people who say the Germans are all orderly, punctual, humourless, 'Teutonic', in short, but now and again something happens to be the rule that proves the rule.

I was just cycling home from work there, and saw a poster advertising the latest edition of 'Vanity Fair'. On the cover was a very nice picture of Liz Hurley, in a kind of 50s/60s style dress and hair. Not normally my type, but I saw the poster hadn't been stuck properly to the board behind, and it appealed to my asthetic taste, so I thought 'I'll have that'. So I started to rip it down. The board was connected to a building site fence, immediately behind which was a builder working. Cue shouts of disgust and protest

"Hey you! Leave the poster alone and clear off! Leave it! Oi!"

To which I replied

"It's only a crappy advertising poster"

The Germans have a sense of place, of order (hard to believe if you saw the graffiti around Berlin, but it kind of is true), hence the title of the thread, a translation of a chant which we occasionally shout at the football when the cops are on the way, or someone urges us to 'behave' or 'be quiet':

"Ruhe! Ordnung! Sauberkeit!"

and my ripping down a poster was a criminal act. Even though it'll be gone in a week at the latest.

I cycled on my merry way sans poster, but I'm off for a daner now which takes me past the spot. My room needs sprucing up :)

Hancot Live On The Radio

2007-02-21T09:36:00.000+01:00

Well, kind of.

The illustrious Northern Irish Magyar occasionally hosts an internet radio interview with various Norn Iron ex-pats around the world. Tonight, from 8.30pm CET (7.30 in the UK), the not-so-mighty Hancot is the interviewee. Here's the link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?show_id=12657

If you're REALLY bored and want a laugh, listen in. That is all. Oh, and please don't phone in.

Greatest cricketing sledges...

2007-02-21T09:08:00.000+01:00

Cricket used to be a gentlemen's game. Played at a leisurely pace, plenty of tea and sandwich breaks, a Corinthian spirit of sporting fair play, played by the upper classes.

Till the Australians came along. (Well actually, it was probably the English Jardine and Larwood and their lethal 'Bodyline' tactic in 1930/1 that ended the Corinthian part, but I digress...)

Cue sledging, the art of verbally abusing your opponent and perceived weaknesses in his game in order to psychologically unnerve him and provoke him into giving his wicket away. Naturally the Aussies as a not-exactly shy retiring sort are World Champions at this too, but there's been a fair few crackers from the English and others. I give you:

The Greatest Cricketing sledges of all time

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" Botham answered "The wife's fine thanks Rod, but the kids are retards"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed:
"Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me.
In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney...
"You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word.
At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.

Classic stuff. Much better than Glentoran's (soon-to-be-ex) boss Windy Millar who, when asked by a Glentoran fan what was going on, replied "Ask yer ma". Classy :-/

Linfield Fan Solves Middle East Conflict!

2007-02-18T22:54:00.000+01:00

No, not me :)

There's a Norn Iron 'comedy' show called "Dry Your Eyes". It portrays and takes the piss out of various NI society characters and their unique behaviour. Most of it is pretty poor, imo, but one of their good ones is Derek, the East Belfast Linfield fan, who is a typical call-a-spade-a-spade, take-no-shit-from-anyone kind of typical Belfast working class hero. In his latest installment, Derek sorts out the Arab-Israeli conflict in his own inimitable way. See for yourself:

Hmm, not sure about the criticisms of the Israelis ans their reasons for invading on a whim, but still quite good nonetheless.

However, Linfield's 'esteemed' manager didn't see the funny side, and launched a bizarre condemnation of the show and the 'stereotypical presentation of Linfield fans'. Here's some of the things he said:

In terms of reinforcing a stereotypical image [of a Linfield fan], it's really sad

We're probably the most mixed team there is

We've opened our ground to our friends in Camogie

Why a thick-talking person with a Linfield top on?

[Linfield fans] portrayed as thick

We're a club who want to represent the whole of the community

I'm gonna take it to the board

I just think they're out of order

Holy guacamole. NOT ONCE has Derek's religion been brought up on the shows. Not a single time. Nor does the character come across as stupid, but rather straight-talking. So this rant really does stretch the boundaries of bizarro.

Fans on ILF are bemused by his criticisms. They are without foundation, and loads of non-football fans back in Norn Iron have asked me about Derek, and said how class they think he is. All he does is portray Linfield fans as salt-of-the-earth, somewhat outspoken and just wanting their peace.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: IMO, our boss is a rent-a-quote media whore, who should speak less and coach more. Shame on you.

UPDATE: Here's the BBC's response:

"In the whole series, there's no mention of soccer or Linfield, there's no sectarian issues or anything like that," he said.

He said the character has "a lot of admirable qualities" and he did not think his behaviour was extreme.

Correct. Get off the offended bus and wind your neck in, Mr. Jeffrey.

German Linguistic Anti-Semitism Etc.

2007-02-17T14:58:00.000+01:00

The German translation of "Down it", ie down a drink in one go, is:

"auf Ex" (I think, literally, down it in 'x', Thorsten, correct me)

Well, yesterday I was teaching a beginner's one-to-one intensive course. We were on the topic of food and drink, the guy, a mid-twenties builder of Ukranian origin, is off to China in 2 weeks to work, and will have a few English colleagues, so I thought it was just right, given his love for beer, to teach him a few alternatives to 'Cheers', such as 'bottoms up' and 'down it'.

He then told me what they say in his area (he lives in Brandenburg, outside Berlin). The phrase they use for 'Down it' is:

"Ex oder Jude"

I was confused, and had my suspicions, but didn't press the matter as we'd a lot to get through. On my way home, I called into one of my old flats to pick up post, and asked them if they knew about this phrase. The Berliners (of a fairly open, antifascist tilt) were non-plussed; however, enlightenment was gained from another guy who had lived in the country in the South of Germany, who told us:

"In the 'province', this is said quite a lot, it means 'Down it in one, or you're a Jew."

'Jew' used as a term for a socially inferior weakling. In Germany. Nice.

Then I cast my mind back to when I was a kid. The term 'Jew' was widely used when a kid picked up a one pence coin off the ground, the implication being that Jews are stingy and frugal with their money, and, I imagine, ultra-capitalists. At the time it meant nothing to me, I was just a kid, I didn't even know any Jews, never even knew Jews or Israel existed. But it's pretty scary to think that such anti-semitism is latent in even Irish society, and is a good illustrator of the tenets of Broder's book 'The Eternal Anti-Semite', which talks of this irrational inbuilt almost innate anti-Semitism in (Western) society. Very interesting. Is there such linguistic prejudice against Muslims? I'll have to do a bit more reading.

Fairy Tales Suck

2007-02-15T15:30:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, wanted to write something about Holocaust Relativism (don't think this word exists, but you get my drift) as recently featured by Iranian demonstrators (UN threatening a new holocaust in Iran), neo-Nazis in Dresden with the 62nd anniversary of the 'Bomb Holocaust', and yes, anti-Ahmedinejad protestors in Berlin in January ('Stop the Nuclear Holocaust'). However, the point is lost somewhat without the pictures I had in mind. Another Time.

Re the title. I'm currently working my way through the Swedish version of 'Sleeping Beauty' ('Toernrosa' in Swedish, and yes, it was a gift *goes red*), complete with CD, I don't think I ever heard the story, and I'm not impressed with the behaviour of the 3 Good Fairies.

The evil fairy expressly said that on her 16th birthday, SB would prick her finger on a spinning wheel, and die. There was no ambiguity as to when or how it would happen, and what the consequence would be.

So what do they do? They send her out into the forest on the day of her 16th birthday, to collect berries, on her own, while they prepare a surprise secret birthday party.

Muppets. Talk about stupidity. Why didn't they keep her locked in all that day, under their watchful eyes, until the day was gone? ONE DAY, and they send her out, not knowing what she's up to. Shameful neglect. I'd throw the lot of them in jail.

ADMITTEDLY, the story would have been a bit crap if they'd done this, and of course I am in my own way here ruling out the powerful influence of fate, but I'm bored. And in a critical mood. :)

[Erm, I've just realised how people could get me wrong here and think that I am equating the Holocaust with a Fairy Tale. I'm NOT doing this. Now I'm the muppet. D'oh.]

Football Violence, German Style

2007-02-11T22:36:00.000+01:00

I spent Saturday travelling with 4 others to Leipzig to watch my team, TeBe, play Chemie Leipzig in a friendly match. It was the usual day (except no alcohol for me), bit of chat, plenty of singing, cheering on our team. Until 2 big Nazi thugs attacked one of our guys. In the stadium. Midway through the second half. There was a bit of a fistfight between one of them and T., who despite being much smaller didn't budge an inch for a minute or so, then they just trotted away casually, stood at the other end of the ground, and chatted away with their mates. The stewards got on the scene far too late, followed them at a distance, and they weren't ejected. On the way out of the ground, we were threatened by a group of younger wannabe hooligans, and had to have an escort to the train station with some cooler fans of Chemie, one of whom persuaded them not to start anything. Our crime? Maybe an anti-fascist banner with 'Not an inch of ball to fascists', plus TeBe's 'rich', 'Jewish' reputation. I didn't step in for various reasons, and I'm not proud. I should have at least filmed or taken photos of them.

That was nothing, though, compared to what went on during and after the Saxony Cup match between Lok Leipzig, who have a large Nazi following, and Aue II. German report on Kicker:

Schwere Krawalle in Leipzig

(Serious rioting in Leipzig)

Rockets fired at opposition fans, terraces set on fire, game interrupted several times, 800 hooligans on the rampage after the game, 36 police injured, police shot at with air gun, CS gas, bricks and slabs of concrete hurled at the police, etc. It was one of the reasons we didn't have any protection at our game, fans having gone off to protect their clubhouses. Police were everywhere at the station, all the shope closed, etc.

Lower league German football, particularly in the East, is in a sorry sorry state. The DFB (German FA) are going to have to finally act, and get this famous 'Task Force' to come up with concrete proposals to deal with these scumbags.

If I can be bothered, I'll write a detailed report on the game on TeBe Party Army tomorrow.

Reports From The Occupied Six Counties

2007-02-07T15:49:00.000+01:00

Crazy story I found today on the illustrious ILF:

"North" identified as most bigoted place in western world

The North is the most bigoted place in the western world, according to research conducted at the University of Ulster.

The finding, which is due to be published in a leading economics journal, is based on a survey of almost 32,000 people in 23 countries.

They were asked how they would feel living beside Muslims, Jews, homosexuals or people of another race.

Forty-four per cent of respondents in the North said they did not want people from these groups living next door.

The main targets of the prejudice were gays, followed by foreign workers.

The North came in just ahead of Greece for levels of bigotry, with the lowest incidence of prejudice found to be in Sweden, Iceland, Canada and Denmark.

Full article here.

Some crazy figures were found here:

As regards each of the five groups the percentage of respondents in Northern Ireland who would not like them as neighbours was homosexuals (35.9%), immigrants or foreign workers (18.9%), Muslims (16%), Jews (11.6%) and people of a different race (11.1%).

The Muslim thing I can kind of get, due to the great fear of Islamic fundamentalism prevalent in the UK at the moment, Dispatches documentaries and 7/7 'friendly neighbour next door' bombers not helping, but JEWS? 1 in 10 didn't fancy Jews next door? Point of information: there is ONE synagogue in the whole of Northern Ireland. I'd wager that at least 95% of NI residents have never come into contact with a Jew. A stark example of the kind of xenophobia existent in a rotten society.

To be honest, the survey doesn't srprise me at all, nor does the ILF finest's attempts to deflect attention onto the Arab states and their level of tolerance (which I agree, in terms of Christians and especially the Jews, would be top of the class). The amount of racist attacks in Northern Ireland over the past 5 years, mainly by Loyalist extremists, and the apologists for them among mainstream society, illustrate starkly the generally hostile attitude of Norn Iron residents to 'farriners' when they're more than mere tourists. A majority want their sectarian hegemony, and imo, they're welcome to it.

It also illustrates to me all the more how much a load of keek this article by a school friend of one of my family is:

The homecoming: Belfast revisited

But Belfast is changing, and the inner signs arethere, too: in the people, and in their attitudes, and in the energy, optimism and buzz there is about the place.

Aye, whatever.

In other startling news, looks like Blair's making one big last push to establish Peace in Ulster as his one lasting legacy after cacking up the abolition of the House of Lords, saving the NHS, improving the school system, making politics sleaze-free, 'tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime', and the war in Iraq.

And it looks like he might just do it: with Sinn Fein having voted to recognise and support the police in Norn Iron, and Paisley's DUP now prepared to enter government with them as a result. Crazy times. All that remains are the March elections and keeping dissenting party members quiet.

Fire away, 'Defenders of Ulster' :)

What Can Happen in Germany If You Unfurl an Israel Flag…

2007-02-05T21:48:00.000+01:00

…Or What Israel Solidarity in the Saarland can lead to.

Because they did something like this.

Thanks to Antifa Saar (www.antifa-saar.de.vu), whose flyer I have translated here for the benefit of an English-speaking audience.

Summer, Sun and Hizbollah

On 24th July 2006, a demonstration of approximately 350 people took place in Saarbruecken as a result of the military conflict between the IDF and Hizbollah. This demo, registered as a ‘peace demonstration’, quickly emerged as an anti-Israeli manifestation of hatred, which agitated against Israel via anti-Semitic depictions, propaganda pictures of atrocities and slogans such as “Israel – child killers, Israel – people killers”, all accompanied by numerous Lebanese flags as well as the occasional Palestinian and German flag. 3 Saarbruecken anti-fascists visually protested against this act by holding up 2 Israel flags and manifesting their solidarity with Israel. They were then attacked physically and verbally abused (“Jews out!”) by up to 50 demonstrators; one of the three received facial injuries as a result of kicks and punches. Luckily, worse damage was averted by the anti-fascists fleeing quickly. The attackers were then able to continue their march unhindered, while the police apparently hunted down the ‘agitators’.

Abominable attorneys

The fact that an anti-semitic lynchmob can carry out such an attack in broad daylight in a pedestrian precinct in Saarbruecken city centre, under the watchful eyes of the police seems scandalous enough. However, at the beginning of October 2006, one of the attacked received a letter from the Saarland LKA (state Criminal Investigation Office, or CIO) State Security Department. They were accused of having attempted to ‘hijack a gathering’ by showing the Israel flag and thus of having been in breach of the German Law of Assembly. In order to prove their absolute will to criminalise anti-fascists showing solidarity with Israel, Criminal Investigation officers conducted a house search of those suspected of ‘hijacking a gathering’ on 26th October 2006. In the process they confiscated numerous computer hard drives and records. The justification which underlay the house search authorisation provides interesting information regarding the mentality of the Saarland State protectors as well as of Magistrate Weber, who signed the authorisation. Here are the given reasons for permitting a house search:

Reasons

The Accused is suspected, at this current point in the investigation, of having caused emotionally-charged outbreaks of anger and as a result, fisticuffs and inciteful remarks such as ‘Death to the Jews’ among the anti-israeli demonstrators, something which he was aware of, along with further persons on 24.07.06 in Saarbruecken during an approved demonstration of the association “Albatoul” by hoisting Israel flags and shouting “long live Israel!”; in doing so, he intended that as a result of the tumult and criminal acts that he would cause through his provocation and actions, the demonstration would be hijacked and the further proceeding of it would be prevented as a result.

So, the anti-fascist is said to have shown the Israel flag purely as a means of provoking the ‘friends of peace’, whereas in classic cultural-relativistic, rassist manner, empathy is shown with the attackers, by portraying their “emotionally-charged outbreak of anger” as a quasi-natural reaction to the sight of an Israeli flag and thus removing any personal responsibility for their violent attacks.

1-0 for the Antifa…

On 22nd November, the Saarland regional court put the first brakes on the actions of the State CIO. Following an appeal from the attorney of the accused, the regional court recognised that the anti-fascists’ expression of protest was covered by the base right to freedom of expression. In addition, the charge/allegation itself as well as the legality of the house search was called into question. The CIO officials then had to return all the confiscated objects to their owners with clenched teeth.

The CIO and the State Attorney Won’t Admit Defeat

The Saarland CIO and senior public prosecutor Raimund Weyand still will not throw in the towel. The investigation of the the accused and the 2 ‘fellow perpetrators’ is still ongoing. The now no longer tenable charge of ‘hijacking a gathering’ has been modified into the charge of having held an unregistered gathering. It seems that the senior public prosecutor wants to bring the matter to trial whatever it takes. We, in any case, are awaiting this trial very tensely.

If it gets as far as a trial, we will announce the date in advance. We invite all right-thinking people who wish to show solidarity to visit the trial – should it take place – and to support the accused anti-fascists.

The political work concerning this case, and especially the legal fees, cost a lot of money. The accused and his supporters are thus reliant on donations. The Saarbruecken association CriThink! e.v. has placed its bank acccount at your disposal for donations.

Everything you need to know about this case and its legal aftermath can be found on the internet at:

www.antifa-saar.de.vu

Bank account for donations:

CriThink! e.v.
Account: 90 035 866
Sort code: 590 501 01
Bank: Sparkasse Saarbruecken
Reason for payment: “Spende”

The two press releases in English on the subject can be found here:

Because they had presented the flag of Israel: LKA investigates „agitators"

House search because of Israeli flag

This is by no means an isolated incident. I know of at least one story in Berlin where a person was forced to move out of their flat after displaying an Israel flag which led to pressure from passers-by and then residents of the same block of flats (Can't find the link to the story, will keep looking).

In this case, I think the police went after the counter-demonstrators to try to demonise them to save face after their failures during the demo; they failed to protect people's right to protest as there were not enough police on duty and they hadn't anticipated trouble; so by trying to criminalise the counter-demonstrators, they can cover up their own shortcomings. That people are being so oppressed for waving an Israel flag in Germany is a disgrace.

Italian Football In Meltdown

2007-02-04T15:14:00.000+01:00

Kraviwannabe sent me an email after seeing what happened in Sicily before the Catania - Palermo game on Friday evening, when a policeman was killed by an explosive device thrown by an Italian hooligan. KW and Kev, as Americans used to wind me up about hooligans and the British, because of my love for all things football (the REAL football).

To be honest, I have to refer you to the real expert here, a Roma season-ticket holder who is in the process of writing a book about Ultras in Italy, Spangly Princess.

Italian Football in meltdown

What is clear is that something has to be done now in Italian. No sport is worth the life of a person. It is time that Italian football authorities deal with the great power wielded by the big Ultras groupings in Italy, and the threat that they constantly pose. Italian football is at a crossroads similar to the one English football faced at the end of the 80s in the face of rampant hooliganism and the Hillsborough disaster. There has to be a sea change in policy, but most importantly, in attitude. On the part of the authorities as well as the fans. Changing fan mentalities and customs will be the real challenge. And tbh I don't know enough about it to offer any suggestions.

Germany Always Has To Be Champion Of The World

2007-02-04T14:53:00.000+01:00

Or: New German Nationalism

"Poland, Don't Take It Personally!"

This is the front page of the FAZ today, one of the big German broadsheets.

It has probably escaped the attention of most of the world, but there is a handball World Cup going on at the moment, in Germany, and the hosts have managed to get into the final, losing only once on the way, ironically against their final opponents Poland.

Hats off to them, they've played very well; and it is true that handball is a big sport here (regular crowds of 3-4000, a professional league etc) but now that another German National Team has started to do well in a major tournament, the German press have to big it up as another reason for everyone to feel 'National Pride' and to show that despite a struggling economy and relative political insignificance on the world stage, that Germany 'is back!'. The swell of National pride engendered by the performances of Germany in the football world cup has continued, meaning now that everytime a German team does well, jingoism and extreme nationalism is the order of the day.

(I acknowledge the strong performance of German athletes and teams on the world stage, the hockey team recently won the World Cup (held in Germany), Germany's athletes won most gold at the last Winter Olympics, football team was third, handball team in the final today etc).

BUT: what disturbs me in this new German Nationalism is this feeling or need to impose a new 'healthy' sense of the German National Community (Volksgemeinschaft) on everyone, emphasising all the supposed 'Teutonic' qualities so hyped and praised by more notorious German leaders in years gone by; using these again as an establishment of German superiority, to exclude those who don't belong or who reject such notions, as 'Fatherland betrayers' or as 'defeatist killjoys'.

An exerpt from the FAZ article, the sub-title no less, illustrates what disturbs me.

"The Hour of the 'German Men'
The handball team of National trainer Heiner Brand embodies values that are highly cherished in this country: the power of the will, hard work, inexhaustible commitment. Now it stands before a great success."

And Matze reported on his blog this week under, as he calls it, 'Party Patriotism Revisited' [German], that after the German victory in the semi-final, a few Germans decided to drive through the one-horse town in which he lives in a motorcade, tooting horns and waving black-red-gold flags. As Matze so nicely puts it:

Do I have to put up with this idiocy every time that a German team does something on the international stage? The Biathlon World Cup starts tomorrow. My heart misgives me.

I'm just disturbed by what I perceive as the overreaction, the reinforcement of the German striving to be the Biggest, Fastest, Best, and where this new National Self-Confidence could eventually lead.

UPDATE: Germany won 29-24. Well done to them. Sure enough, the news came on last night just before the Superbowl, and I actually predicted exactly what the first words of the bulletin would be: "Deutschland ist Weltmeister". Grr.

At times like these, I always like to seek out my second favourite moment of 2006 (I'll put my first on youtube soon):

SW - Stupid Wankers

2007-02-02T16:52:00.000+01:00

There's a lot of good graffiti in Berlin. Most of the older generation from the UK who have visited Berlin think it makes the place dirty, but I like most of it, it gives the place a bit of colour. 'CBS' do some great huge non-political ones, pictures maybe to follow.

But then there's a group who call themselves the 'SW Crew'. I thought it stood for Socialist Worker (you'll see why in a mo) but apparently it is 'Sky Walkers'. Anyhow, they have at least 3 big graffiti within walking distance of my house, so I went out today to show you what I mean when I talk about 'Querfront'. Theirs seems to be a very typical Socialist position - think SWP, think that all-purpose word 'Resistance', think anti-America, anti-Israel, and you'll get my drift. However, they seem to be big into the whole 'Nation' idea too, and defending it against 'evil''imperialists'. A strange combination, this whole Nationalism/ Socialism combo. Have a look:

The last one is them expressing rage at someone who had painted over/improved their previous one there:

Congrats to whoever painted over it. do you see the paradox here? Defend your Nation? Against Nazis? Hmm...

A big thanks to Ivison and Gruppe.Internationale.Webteam [GI] for these other pics. A thread on it can also be found on the (German version of) Anti-Defamation Forum.

Here's some more niceness:

Anti-Ahmedinejad, Pro-Israel Demonstration

2007-01-31T12:54:00.000+01:00

28.01.07, Berlin

To coincide with Holocaust Memorial Day, a pro-Israel demo took place in Berlin, auspiciously to campaign against Iran President Ahmedinejad's current sabre-rattling, threats to 'wipe Israel off the map' and his pursuit of a nuclear weapons capability as a means to this end. I was there. It was pouring with rain, I got soaked to the skin, but I wanted absolutely to show my solidarity with Israel on such a day and in such a place.

Even before the demo started, it was surrounded by controversy.
- The poster was poor imo, badly formatted, unclear, and filled with cheesy and unhelpful cliches.
- The organisers of the demo were viewed as suspicious, the official Jewish Community in Berlin did not take part, and many of the more militant, extreme pro-Israel faction were disturbed by the german-israel friendship groups that were to be represented.

In fact, controversy was caused by the fact that German flags were flown freely alongside Israeli ones on the demo. This especially caused much chagrin to any kind of left-wingers or antifa:

To be honest, I'd never normally go on a demo where German flags are flown freely, but it was explained to me that these people are not dodgy right-wing extremists, but just some kind of German 'patriots', proud of the constitution and the democratic ideals of Germany since WW2 and wanting to show their solidarity with Israel.

For me, I did indeed have issues with certain groupings and their agenda, but felt that the presence of hundreds of Israel flags on the streets of Berlin is a seldom enough sight and welcome at every opportunity, this was a demo designed to support Israel, and as such was worth supporting.

Attendance: The demo started relatively punctually at 15.20 and I would estimate there were about 1000 people there, the demo organisers had hoped for 5000 and stated that 3000 were present, no chance; google reported 700-800 participants.

Participants: A very mixed group in terms of age group and sex, with suprisingly many older people present. Many seemed to be rare attenders of demos. One 'float' with microphone at the front, impossible to hear at the back where I was. Many many Israel flags, one US flag, a couple of antifa banners, some cardboard placards with slogans such as "Iran finances Hizbollah", a couple of Iranian flags, complete with monarchy symbol, and one Social Democrat flag. A few chants of "Solidarity with Israel", that was about it.

Demo start, in front of Red Town Hall

Crossing Schinkel Bridge on Unter Den Linden

Passing the State Opera House

Walking past Bebelplatz (where the Nazis burned books in 1933)

Opposition: 3 middle-aged people, apparent peace activists and I would reckon from the Attac/BueSo spectrum, holding cardboard placards demanding atomic disarmament for all nations, including Israel; 3 pali-scarve-wearing student-looking types, one of whom was wearing a t-shirt bearing the legend along the lines of 'Intifada Anti-national' who followed the demo and were excluded by the stewards, and that was about it.

Closing rally: Featured a series of speakers talking of the dangers that Ahmedinejad poses to the world, many stressed the danger to Europe, many talked of the need to put down a marker against Iran, for Germany to stand by Israel etc. The word 'Appeasement' was used many times in its English original, obviously a very loaded word in Germany as well as in the UK. Matthias Kuenzel (very good texts by him in English here)gave a good speech about the hypocrisy and two-faced nature of the German government in terms of their economic relations with Iran, talking out against Ahmedinejad while continuing to trade with them freely; but by this stage I was soaked to the skin, as were my companions, so we headed to the U-Bahn and some much-needed mulled wine.

Appraisal: The demo has got stick from all quarters, from the most extreme pro-Israeli anti-Germans to the most vehement anti-imperialist 'left-wing Germans', but I'm glad it took place. Any opportunity to get Berlin's streets awash (appropriate adjective here) with Star of Davis flags should be seized, and the occasion was correct, even if I still am a little uncomfortable with the Hitler-Ahmedinejad and the relativising of the Holocaust that is entailed.

3 pictures of the rally at the end of the demonstration, which was held beside the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, near the Brandenburg Gate:

The photos I took (most of which are awful, due to poor cameraman, terrible weather and lighting and inability to take moving pictures) available at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/jimhancot/IsraelDemo280107

Webosphere reaction (in German):

Die Juedische

Indymedia Germany

Yahoo Germany

Torsoen (anti-imp blog)

'Norbert' on Lila Kanal [thanks for the inspiration :) ]

One last thing: Shitweasel Livingstone organised a kind of conference on the Middle East recently. It can be viewed on youtube here:

A World Civilisation or a Clash of Civilisations

Keep clicking throughto watch the whole thing. Particularly watchable are the pro-Israel speeches of Daniel Pipes and Douglas Murray.

Talk about it on Anti-Defamation Forum (English).

A Weekend In Leipzig

2007-01-22T11:34:00.000+01:00

At the weekend, I took part in a active fans' football congress, in Leipzig, organised by BAFF. Report here.

Photos of the congress.

My first time as a BAFFer, found it very interesting and informative, around 80 fans from all across Germany talking about a range of topics affecting German football, I sat in on the racism seminar and nationalism (in the wake of the World Cup) one.

Leipzig, or more specifically Connewitz where I stayed was cool, some great pubs, good people, and the most unlikely rock star of them all, 'Butter Maker' :)

Erm, I went back on the beer for the weekend, mainly cos Staropramen was €1,60 a bottle and Pilsner Urquell €1,50, soo-poib.

Also had a wee dance for the first time in about a year, 'Electric Island', lots of electro, house and techno, till 5.30am, magic. Got about 6 hours' sleep all weekend.

Then on Sunday, left early and went to Makkabi Berlin's ground renaming ceremony, thoughts on it on TeBe Party Army.

More info tomorrow.

Bored...

2007-01-18T16:34:00.000+01:00

I'm lacking inspiration and I'm SO bored. Here's three free movie websites that should keep me entertained, but don't:

http://www.movieforumz.com/index.php (register, it's well worth it, lots of good films, plus most of the Simpsons from series 9 on)

http://www.alluc.org/alluc/ (even better and bigger choice than the previous)

http://www.peekvid.com/

It's blowing a gale outside, I'm still a bit too hungover after drinking a bottle of cheap red wine and then some more white, so I can't be assed reading, these are what I'm trying to read:

(written from a very anti-Israel, peacenik point of view, very critical of Israel's attitude to the Palestinians, blatantly sympathetic to apparent doves, diplomacy-not-war politicians such as Moshe Sharett and Levi Eshkol and scathing of warmongering hawks such as Ben Gurion and Sharon, but a great help for me in understanding modern day Israeli history, even if it is from a standpoint that I don't necessarily agree with)

(the story of a black kid growing up in Nazi Germany, very readable and eye-opening, but kind of makes me feel that he got off lightly compared to the Jews, terrible thought I know. He makes no moral judgement on the bombing of Hamburg that he got caught up in, though it is described in horrible detail, and his portrayal of the Germans during the Nazi regime is sympathetic and understanding, very much at odds with a Daniel Goldhagen and the 'Hitler's Willing Executioners' theory. Very interesting)

And here's a crazy UK documentary or two:

Dispatches - Undercover Mosque (clip 1 of 6, keep clicking on the following links for the whole show. Scarily shows the influence of extremist fundamentalist Saudi Islamic clerics in even moderate UK mosques, such as Green Park in Birmingham and the London Central Mosque)

Will Israel Bomb Iran? (very relevant for me given the book I'm reading re Israel's policy of 'ambiguity' with regard to nuclear weapons, sth that Olmert screwed up a few weeks ago, and considering that there is a demo in Berlin on World Holocaust Day, 28th January, against Ahmadinejad and his plans to 'Wipe Israel off the map' while persuing his nuclear programme to give him the means to do so.) Here's the poster:

More info on the anti-Ahmadinejad demo (in English!) here. Check out I Like Israel and Anti-Defamation Forum for more info and events.

Luxemburg Liebknecht (Lenin) Demo 2007

2007-01-14T12:28:00.000+01:00

14th January, Berlin.

Every year, the German Left gather to commemorate Karl Liebknecht and Rosa Luxemburg and lay flowers at their graves. It really is the entire cross-section of the Left, from Antifa to Communists, Marxist-Leninists to the Social Democrats.

All the photos I took can be found here. Here's a small selection of the most 'interesting'. I was surprised at the lack of 'Resistance'/anti-imperialist (ie anti-USA, anti-Israel) placards and banners. It was Pally scarf-tastic, though.

Front banner "No-one is forgotten; Arise and Resist"

"Not one person, not one cent for imperialist war" German Communist Party

"Smash G8 - Against Imperialism, War and Exploitation" Solid (youth group)

3 of the figures featured in a 'great' chant that Doughnut Boy loves: (Marx, Engels) "Lenin, Stalin, Mao!" No wonder he doesn't go there anymore...

Two popular 'leftist' National Freedom struggles. Actually this was the only Palestine flag I saw, there was one Iraqi flag, and loads of Basque, Cuba and Hammer and Syckle flags.

Oh, and there's a good interview today man who won the "Anti-Idiotarian Award" (the 'Oriana Fallaci') for 2006 voted for by LGF readers.

Ousted Bolton puts world to rights

On Iran:

“I wouldn’t have engaged in negotiations with Iran in the first place,” he said, evidently disdainful of Britain, France and Germany’s years of reaching out to Iran. “The policy has failed. Sanctions won’t stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons.”

On the UN:

Bolton’s disillusion with the UN is such that he would like it to face competition from other international organisations. “The choice is to fix it or go somewhere else.” He favours building up Nato as a rival in the belief that it could expand into a “caucus of democracies” — a permanent coalition of the willing.

On the UK and its future role:

His opinion of the Foreign Office in London is not much higher than the UN. It is “European” — not a compliment.

Britain has a “fundamental choice” to make, Bolton insisted. “The real issue is whether the UK sees itself as part of a ‘little Europe’ as opposed to Atlanticist. I certainly hope the Atlanticist view will prevail.”

A man who Israel will sorely miss at the UN.

Dropping Like Flies

2007-01-12T17:33:00.000+01:00

I've comforted myself since Uni with the knowledge that, while I was living my footloose and fancy-free, littlest Hobo, a year here, a year there, running away from commitments and a career/proper job, girl-in-every-port* lifestyle, others in Blighty were just leading relatively mundane existences and not doing the adult things I associate with my parents, like mortgages, marriages, babies, and such like, AND that as such, I wasn't diverting TOO far from the norm and could continue my responsibility-free life.

Well, times they are a-changin.

It hit home last week when Neil told me he had just got engaged, something I hadn't envisaged happening for a good while yet. This was just the icing on the engagement cake that had been well-egged and raised in the previous months. Here's the Settling-Down Crime Sheet:

SP - already an Oxford fellow, and engaged AGES ago (thankfully not anymore, makes me feel better :) )
Mike - own home
Blair - own home, proper career, probably engaged
Earmo - married years ago
Chris H. - married and career 2 years ago
Air McNair - got married inthe summer
Lil Sis - baby in September
Chalkman - now onto his second, 3-bedroom house, probably engaged, I've forgotten
Mark van Forehead - engaged, wedding next summer
Scoops - engaged during the summer, owns his own home, proper career
Tim - engaged last month, long-time proper career
Neil - engaged last month, long-time proper career
Chuff- buying his first home, long-time proper career

There's probably loads of people I've forgotten; those not on that list are generally moving around a lot because of work, be it in the Army, bank or whatever. I DON'T have a career, or house, or kids, cos generally, I can't be assed, or the thought of these things fills me with dread, fear of being bored and trapped and generally dissatisfied.

Today also happens to be 6 months to the day since I started seeing my lovely lady, a modern day record for the Hancot. But there still ain't any chance of me 'giving in' to the expected norms of society. I'm pretty much sorted for what I'm gonna do with myself till Summer '08 (London, Belfast and Bolivia feature) and after that, we'll see. I do think sometimes of 'What am I going to do when I grow up?' and 'What am I going to do with my life?' but I still feel I'm too young. However, that date of Summer '08 could be a decisive one in my life...

...I turn 30 then *gulp*

Still off the beer for this month, but wine is fine, time for a nice Italian red I feel, Prost!

*FAO my lovely lady (and exes): there hasn't been a girl in every port. There's only been a few. Erm... taxi...

Gary Mulligan 8 Robbie Fowler 5

2007-01-10T16:34:00.000+01:00

Lead Boot Competition

Gary Mulligan 8

Robbie Fowler 5

2 mates made a bet at the start of the season, after watching pieman Robbie lumber across the pitch against Sheff U, and Gary Mulligan of Gillingham be so ineffective and unhungry as to miss a slide-in from 2 yards. The bet was would would score more, all competitions included, and they didn't expect there to be much action on that score. And for the first few months they were right. How we laughed when Mulligan was credited on the BBC website as having scored against Millwall, when in fact it was a team-mate. They were playing with us.

But then Mulligan started scoring, and hasn't looked back. Neil, whose money was on Fowler, knew he wouldn't play much, but hoped for a host of goals in minor cup competitions against lower league competition; and well, Gary Mulligan, who had scored 1 goal in half a season since moving to the Gills and had been just as shot-shy at the beginning of the season, seemed no threat.

Opinions were united on Mulligan. He was a trier, had a bit of skill, but for a big man was crap in the air, was too powder-puff for the 2nd divison, and wasn't hungry enough. I even made up a Gee (rhymes with tea- means poor) song about him

(to the tune of "Mama just killed a man" from "Bohemian Rhapsody")
"Mulligan, scores less than Sven [erm, bad comparison there]
And less than Jason Lee
And less than the old Gee [Ipoua]

Then he started scoring, and Chuffries, whose money was on Gar-Gee, changed his opinion:

"he shall from now on be referred to as "Gary Prolific"!!!"

"keeper made 1 world class save from a mullers volley before that too. one of his 3 efforts on target... see boys he's getting better."

"Mullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllligan....
sounded like he played a blinder last night - ha typical came in a complete joke competition"

"The boy mullers is different class to all except the wantaway boy [ Jarvis, our best player, not for much longer]."

As for Robbie, he's not had a look-in, with Kuyt, Bellamy, Crouch and Garcia ahead of him, so his match fitness leaves a lot to be desired. He actually scored last night, but this is what Andy Gray said about him:

"Robbie Fowler stayed on the pitch for the full 90 minutes despite the fact that he was so far short of match fitness he was barely moving by the end. "

Problem now, as my flatmate has pointed out, is that they've scored far too many goals for it to be taken as a bet on loser footballers any more, music to Neil's ears no doubt :)

By the way, the bet is a poxy 10 squid. There's been other more 'interesting' bets going on though...

The progress of these two 'foxes in the box' will be followed from here on in...

UPDATE: Chuffries has tipped me off! Kent Online reports today that clubs are interested in the services of Mulligan!

Jepson reveals interest in Gills striker

by Paul Hobson
GILLINGHAM manager Ronnie Jepson has admitted forward Gary Mulligan has been attracting the attention from other clubs.

The 21-year-old has netted eight times since the end of October having made a slow start to his Gills career in terms of goalscoring.

Jepson believes the interest is fully deserved. He said: "Rightly so, because of what he gives the team, not just his goals, but the other side."

The power of the Hancot reveals itself, we point out how many goals he's scored, and sure enough, the next day the press is, er, full of transfer stories concerning him! Remember, you heard it here first. And the bet still stands, no-one said nothing about Mulligan and Fowler having to play for the Gills and the Pool respectively...

All Your Fakes Are Belong To Us

2007-01-07T21:42:00.000+01:00

I found this cracking video and tune while doing a bit of research into Pallywood media set-ups and stunts. (The original was apparently a cult internet gabba tune ''Invasion of the Gabber Robots" in 2001/2 by 'The Laziest Men on Mars', the inspiration being a opening cut scene of the English version of the 1989 Japanese video game Zero Wing by Toaplan.)

Anyway, here's the video:

It details the numerous fake news stories that the MSM (Mainstream Media) diffused during the Lebanon war in the summer, without shecking the facts in advance, fakes that have been expertly outed and mocked by the following great websites:

Honest Reporting

Fauxtography Updates (LGF)

EU Referendum: The Corruption of the Media (Qana)

Zombie: The Red Cross Ambulance Incident

Reuters Doctoring Photos from Beirut (Left And Right)

Hot Air Fauxtography

Left Equals Right Equals Left

2007-01-06T14:46:00.000+01:00

'Freedom for Iraq! Occupiers Out!'

These stickers were the final spur for me to write something about a topic that's been preoccupying me for quite some time.

I found these last week on a post box AT THE END OF MY STREET. The clever thing about them is that at first look, they could well be a typical left-wing sticker. Features:

1. Cool graffiti-style writing.
2. A symbol resembling an Antifa Aktion one (see picture below).
3. A favourite topic among the left: an anti-war position, in truth anti-Americanism manifesting itself as anti-imperialism.

They are in fact neo-Nazi stickers belonging to a group calling itself "Free Resistance" ('resistance' of course being a word no good anti-imp leftie could live without, see countless Socialist Worker posters and papers for evidence).

Now, this group, along with pretty much every neo-Nazi group in Germany, are adopting this policy deliberately. To the normal burgher, these stickers have no evidence of traditional right-wing ideology, and to all intents and purposes look like left-wing stickers. This is the desired effect. Neo-Nazis want to blur the boundaries between extreme left and extreme right, in the eyes of society, to both gain more acceptance in mainstream society and/or to alienate left-wing movements and paint them as extremists, and just as good/bad as the neo-Nazis themselves. This carefully-considered plan is called a 'Querfront' strategy (hard to translate, it means a diagonal front, to remove the traditional left-right poles).

To this end, German neo-Nazis have started to adopt/ copy/ steal/ procure many many left-wing symbols, styles, looks, culture and even politics, where possible. This has been well documented by the campaign "Der Nazis Neue Kleider" ('The Nazis' New Clothes') showing the points of attack of the extreme right. I will look at the most widespread examples here.

1. Clothes

As you may know, I documented the German Nazis' inclination to wear Palestinian scarves, a tradition (confused) left-wing symbol.

Big thanks to Krasse Zeiten for many good photos.

In recent years, in the wake of the image and violence carried out during the anti-capitalist protests in Seattle, Gothenburg, Genoa et al, especially by members of the militant ‘Black Blocks’ younger more radical neo-Nazis have copied or adopted the clothing styles of said group. Hence:

OUT with the old cliched image of a neo-Nazi with skinhead in bomber jacket, blue rolled-up jeans, bovver boots and white laces (incidentally, a look copied in the first plave from London/ Jamaica and from the ska scene)

IN with all-black hooded tops, bench jackets, baseball caps, trainers, particularly New Balance (the ‘N’ represnting ‘Nationalist’ among the right-wing community) and no obvious symbols

This was done by younger ‘Autonomous Nationalists’ to have a cooler look first and foremost, with a implicit threat behind it, to attract more impressionable teenagers looking for a cool group to hang out with, but also to confuse the general public, who would see no-one but a critic or opponent of society, recalling the anti-WTO protests, no distinction between left and right would thus be possible. This tactic has worked both ways and even confused the Berlin police recently, who let a group of left-wingers through to a right-wing demo, and all sorts of trouble ensued.

2. Symbols

Tied in with the look is the adoption and blatant ripping-off of left-wing, in particular Antifa (Antifascist Action) symbolism for their own ends. This manifests itself both in the badges they wear, but also, as already mentioned, in the ‘graffiti’-style banners they carry round with them – out with the old Gothic/ Germanic script, in with snazzy young leftie scrawl.

An example: in 2004, a Berlin Antifa group initiated the ‘Endlich weg damit!’ [get rid of it at last!] campaign for the closure of the NPD (NSPAD successors) Party HQ and also the deportation centre/prison, both in the same area. The neo-Nazis ripped off THE EXACT SAME print to demonstrate for the removal of ‘anti-democratic’ (read: anti-right-wing) laws. Compare:

Original: Antifa, 2004

Copied: neo-Nazis, 2005

Antifa’s very symbol, a combination of a red and a black flag to represent Socialism and Anarchism, has been copied, with just a black flag in a circle to represent ‘Autonomous Nationalism’ and their newly-adopted colour. Compare:

Antifa

‘Autonomous Nationalists’

‘National Socialists Premnitz’ (thanks to westhavelland antifa) tm

A good brief guide to typical neo-Nazi symbols can be found here:

3. Music

Hardcore music,tied in with punk, rockabilly, ska etc, has always been used by both sides of the political spectrum, but in general has been dominated by the left, as a tolerant, anti-society, anti-authority, radical sort of music. The neo-Nazis have recently, with much success, been using music and bands to attract youth, e.g. by handing out a ‘school yard CD’ with right-wing, nationalistic, xenophobic text.
Again, we see similar symbolism, the Nazis apeing the antifascist ‘Good Night White Pride’ campaign:

Good Night White Pride (HC = Hard Core)

Good Night Left Side

4. Politics

This is the absolute clincher. Nazis have for years been stigmatised and marginalised by most of society for the extreme and perverse nature of their demands, and the political campaigns they have led: ‘No Holocaust’, ‘Germany For The Germans, Foreigners Out’, The Nazis Were Not Criminals’, 'Glory and Honour to the Waffen-SS' etc etc. However, especially since 9/11, they have subtly changed tack. Their aims and beliefs are still the same, still anti-democratic, pro-dictatorship, ultra-nationalist, xenophobic, and above all, anti-semitic, but the campaigns they have chosen to lead have dramatically changed and attempted to occupy the mainstream. Their main public strategy can be summed up in two words:

Anti-War.

This is not because they are anti-war per se (their glorification of the Wehrmacht and their slogan ‘Germany is bigger than the Federal Republic’ shows this) but because in the anti-war movement, they have identified common points of interest, ie anti-Americanism and anti-Semitism, shrouded in the cloak of anti-Israelism or anti-Zionism. Anti-Americanism (which itself differs from the British post-colonial version and is in fact a form of anti-Semitism in itself, a subject I'm not going into now as it deserves a post in itself) is the cement that binds German society together, the left, the right, and the mainstream, and it is here that the Nazis can feel a part of German society and gain access to fora and areas that would remain barred to them otherwise. Some examples:

Who were the first to protest on the outbreak of the Iraq war in 2003? Why, the NPD of course.

03.09.05, Berlin:

“Against imperial warmongering and wars of aggression – for free peoples in a free world”

They managed to walk unnoticed in the huge anti-war demo prior to the beginning of the Iraq war. No wonder, when 'stink normal' Germans were holding placards of the American flag with a swastika in place of the stars, comparing the David Star with the swastika, and demonising the USA with chants such as 'U-S-A, international child murdering central'.

The USA is held up as THE antipole of Germany/ Europe/ whatever, as the very concept of the enemy. In general, Germans love many aspects of US society: music, sports, food etc - but jealousy, some feeling of shame, and the usual conspiracy theorist ideas of the Jews running American society and entering bloodthirstily into wars to gain more wealth and oil bubble under the surface of much of this society. Check out this poster that is sold at a typical normal bourgeois shop near me and makes my blood boil every time I see it:

The Israel = Nazi comparison is made even by many of the mainstream, to relativise the holocaust and assauge their guilt and shame:

In addition, they made their presence felt at the ‘Monday demos’ against the introduction of new regulations for the unemployed in Germany, Hartz IV, with a continual presence on an anti-capitalist ticket protesting against capitalist ‘locusts’, in particular American 'Great Capitalists', who are exploiting German workers and gaining massive profits.

And of course, getting back to the oppressed 'Voelker' (peoples/ nations) of the world, the Nazis just LOVE the Palestinians, their national independence struggle, their cult of death and fighting to the death for the fatherland (they LOVE the idea of suicide bombs and martyrdom, something they'd love to be able to do themselves) and most importantly, the fight that this struggle is directed against the Jews. No self-respecting neo-Nazi demo would be complete without a Palestinian, Lebanese, Iraqi or Iranian flag, the important thing is, they're fighting the Jews:

The neo-Nazis are not altering their beliefs or ideologies in any way: they are simply modifying their means of expression so as to fit in with the mainstream, to gain more votes, and to drag the left down to their level while pulling themselves up at the same time. Their strategies, coupled with the high unemployment rate in east Germany and the lack of perspective, seems to be bringing them not inconsiderable success. They have already gained seats in Saxony's and Mecklenburg-Vorpommern's federal state parliaments, as well as 12 mandates in the Berlin city council. Worrying indeed. The fact that they can achieve some kind of connection with German mainstream society by latching onto anti-American and anti-Semitic resentments in a non-direct way is mentioned in the book I'm reading at the moment, 'Der ewige Antisemit' ('The eternal anti-Semite') by Henryk M. Broder:

A great comprehensive exploration of the Querfront topic in German can be found here by Ralf Fischer.

This is just a brief overview. I've left a lot of stuff out, otherwise this post would be far too long. Keep your eyes peeled for Querfront.

Pro-Israel Germans, or Antideutsche

2007-01-04T13:38:00.000+01:00

Hat tip: anjapartanen

Just a wee article for those bemused by this phenomenon of parts of the left-wing in Germany supporting Israel unequivocally, and to show those from across the pond with whom I spent some time with in Israel last year that good people DO exist in Europe :)

Haaretz: The good men of Leipzig

LEIPZIG, Germany - The phone call two weeks ago reached D. at a cafe in Conne Island, the center of the pro-Israel radical left in Leipzig. On the line was a correspondent from a local radio station asking the 24-year-old if members of the club were aware that at that very moment a neo-fascist parade was being held on the other side of town.

"Do you realize what they did," D. said angrily last weekend. "The neo-Nazis and the municipality concealed it from us and called it 'a protest against the deployment of the German army around the world,' but basically it was an anti-Zionist rally. They shouted 'we won't shed our blood for Israel,' after troops were deployed in Lebanon."

Within an hour, D. and his friends were able to organize 200 young people,
most of them non-Jews, to stream into the neighborhood where the parade was taking place to confront the neo-Nazi demonstrators. This is what the anti-fascist left does at nearly every rally, parade or gathering of the extreme right across Germany. But the German police force was prepared and identified the young protesters and prevented them from disrupting the rally.

The Conne Island center, a complex with a performance hall, library, cafe and impressive skateboard rink, is the headquarters of the pro-Israel radical left-wing activity in Leipzig. One would not have expected these activists to show uncompromising support for Israel and for the advancement of neo-Marxist values.

Article continues here.

It is debated on Anti-Defamation Forum (English), where I'm sure they'd welcome new posters and points of view.

This also ties in very nicely with a future post regarding the congruity between the Left and the Right, especially the following lines:

the September 11 attacks hastened the division of the anti-fascists [in Germany] into two separate camps that see the Israeli-Palestinian conflict differently.

On the one hand, as most radical leftist organizations in Europe maintain, Israel is an imperialist, racist power; on the other hand, due to Germany's unique history and its responsibility for the murder of six million Jews during World War II, there are also some who unequivocally support Israel.

The pro-Israel process also gained momentum as a counter-reaction to the radical, neo-Nazi right's use of Palestinian and Iranian symbols to protest against Israel.

Update: the article has also been discussed on Harry's Place, where even supporters of Israel seem to regard them as weirdos, or at best confused, regarding the anti-German/ left-wing/Communist dichotomy, and the dilemma of denying German Nationalism while supporting the Israeli version at the same time (here I think they miss the point). I have my own thoughts on this too, but that's for another time...

Pally Scarves 11:10 Burberry Scarves

2007-01-03T23:29:00.000+01:00

A game to play if you find yourself bored strolling through any wintry West European city. Count the scarves.

Pallies 11 Burberries 10

This was the score of today's hotly-disputed match after 30 minutes in Malmo on my way to the train station, a late surge from left-wing wannabe youths securing victory for the Pallies.

Which suggests that terrorists and suicide bombers are 'hipper' and cooler in Malmo than chavs, casuals and wannabe rich chic, I guess.

Hancot's got a new camera. Prepared to be wowed by his astonishingly poor photography.

Happy New Year to friend, foe, antideutsch, linksdeutsch, pro-Israel, anti-imp, family and occasional curious visitor alike. Some controversial posts on the way.

Hancot's 'To Get In Belfast' List

2006-12-23T12:18:00.000+01:00

Or: Analyse Hancot Time.

I like writing lists. It's one of the things I've picked up from me old da (emphasis on old) and without them, I'd be lost. I write them for everything, esp when I go anywhere, which is often. I even write them when I can't decide between two options. So here is my Xmas things to get list, unabridged, warts and all:

- IBM laptop - to get fixed
- 2005/6 PINK FRENCH NOTES - Kat
- German Insurance 01-03?
- Get new diary - Inshops
- Ginos - have a skook
- curry powder
- brown sauce
- gravy
- PJ bottoms? [*shame*]
- bike light
- spanish books
- radio- NEXT
- take home creative disk for Gareth
- snakes
- money for Sweden
- Hydrocortisone cream (lynx)
- backpack
- hip flask?
- old Linfield pics

FAR too much time on my hands...

Just For Aaron:

2006-12-21T16:14:00.000+01:00

Boxing Day 1991, The Oval

Glentoran 3 Linfield 3

My favourite non-victorious Big One game. Linfield's second goal is a classic:

Favourite Berlin Street Names No.1

2006-12-21T13:43:00.000+01:00

No.1 in a series of names here that amuse me, or seem very apt or remarkable.

'Niederlagstrasse'

translated:

Defeat Street!

Should the main East-West Avenue. Unfortunately, just a wee street leading off from the same, near the German Historical Museum. Should be named after the German National Team (second losers in their own World Cup, but voted 'Team of the Year' here and self-proclaimed 'World Champions in People's Hearts'. Bollocks) but isn't.

The Stupidest Game I've Ever Been At

2006-12-19T18:18:00.000+01:00

Boxing Day 1995, The Oval, Belfast

Glentoran 0 Linfield 3

Each Boxing Day, Belfast's 'Big Two' clash. Linfield haven't lost since 1989, but it's gonna happen soon. It's what I look forward to most about Xmas. Well this was the stupidest game I was ever at (and the first youtube video I uploaded, let's hope it works):

The one orange ball they had burst, only white balls left, so they played with a white ball on a white pitch. Cue chants of "Change The Ball" from both sets of fans. To no avail.

And yes, the statto gimp in me knows who scored, that we had a depleted team out made it all the sweeter :)

No posts recently cos I've been bored and lacking inspiration. Roll on Boxing Day and New Year.

Happy Hanukkah!

Live Ashes Cricket for non-UK Residents!

2006-12-15T11:03:00.000+01:00

And typically, I find it just as England are on the verge of losing the Ashes already in record short time and making future listening pointless.

Here you go anyway:

Cricket World Radio

Football Without Drink For A Change

2006-12-10T11:43:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the new sober football-watching Hancot!

A very strange experience it was too. Day report here. Normally I get cut like a good 'un going to watch TeBe (and the Blues) but cos of recent trouble with the police and just to see what it was like, I decided vanilla coke was the way forward. Some things I noticed:

1. Football fans really do come across as aggressive and primitive when singing their songs and chants, even if these are harmless. I generally prefer to sing within stadia these days as growling songs walking through towns isn't really good PR for my club.
2. In a similar vein, alcohol makes fans so much more short-fused and aggressive during the game.
3. Chants go up the left.
4. Boah, it's hard being in the company of a load of drunks when you're stone-cold sober. Thank goodness for other sober people, they really do talk shit and make no sense.

Not exactly great revelations to most readers, but for me, it was very eye-opening, as I'm normally probably like that. I enjoyed it though, thanks to some like-minded people.

TeBe Sober Army!

Daniel Goldhagen: Europe and Political Islam

2006-12-01T14:42:00.000+01:00

I was at a very interesting talk by Goldhagen in Berlin last week on the above subject. A super report on English ADF on it has been written by the esteemed Doughnut Boy. In particular, following bits are interesting:

The first point Goldhagen made was that he wished to stress that he considers the lives of all individuals across the word as equally important. He then made it clear that he was not judging or talking about Islam as a whole but the phenomena of “Political Islam”, which is a political movement.

This political movement has been on the offensive in all three areas of politics: on the street; in the halls of power and on the battlefield.

The Denmark cartoon scandal clearly showed many aspects of political Islam. Compared to the daily demonisation of Israel, Jews, the West and the USA in the Arabic media they were harmless and hardly offensive. The violence erupted a long time after the cartoons had been published and at the time that Iran was refusing to comply with UN nuclear negotiations. The violence and scale of the demonstrations was not rational or proportionate – neither were the threats and demands of the protesters: Killing, slaying, beheading and wishing death and terror upon those who “insult” Islam. The European reaction of apologising, refusing to reproduce the cartoons or stand up for free speech was a victory for political Islam. The demonstrations on the street was a threat against European freedom of speech; the death threats and calls for Fatwas from protesters to leading Imams across the Islamic world was an unprecedented overreaction with blatantly threatening and violent tones. Iran’s attempts to defy the world community and to develop its nuclear program was defended and taken from the world spotlight.

Goldhagen then took quotes from prominent politicians, leaders of political Islam, suicide bombers, national leaders and religious figures to continue to prove his point: Political Islam is openly genocidal, wishes to impose its ideology on the world, has a cult of death, is working on a very long term scale, sees the West as its enemy and sees itself (in this case by religion) to be assured of victory due to its superiority.
Goldhagen said that political Islam was without doubt the most repressive political movement since National Socialism. Furthermore, in the sense of political Islam’s blatant and outspoken desire for genocide, in the sense of its cult of death and in the sense of its feeling that its superiority will bring this about as destiny, Goldhagen claimed that the only political movement that he was aware of that shared such characteristics were the Nazis. He, as a scholar of German history and its most terrible episodes in particular did not draw this parallel lightly but he had never come across other movements that shared these themes.

Although Goldhagen drew the comparison in these aspects to National Socialism, he did not approve of the term Islamofascism and was insistent that Political Islam was the correct term.

Goldhagen claimed that the examples of the Pope and the cartoons had shown clearly that the target of political Islam is not merely the state of Israel but the West as a whole. Slaying those who insult Islam refers to not merely Israel as a whole but also the West as their power and strength compared to Islam is in itself an insult.

He stated that the West had to be strong and place the necessary political pressure on Iran and Ahmadinejad to stop Iran acquiring nuclear weapons capabilities, and that meant, if it came to the crunch, bombing nuclear plants and facilities where such materials were being constructed. A German Green party MEP, Cem Oezdemir, said that political Islam was not one pan-national united anti-Western front, but rather subversive forces within individual Arab states, or exisitng governments within those states, and their struggle for power manifesting itself the best way in order to acquire popular support. All very interesting. How do we approach 'political Islam'? Ahmadinejad has made his intentions very clear, particularly with two telling statements:

"Israel must be wiped off the map"

and (to Europeans)

""You imposed a group of terrorists... on the region. It is in your own interest to distance yourself from these criminals... This is an ultimatum. Don't complain tomorrow.""

What is to be done? I know some people who think napalm has a bad rap, and could be the answer. Hmm. Maybe not. Naturally a political diplomatic solution must be sought with Iran first. But with such comments, I don't think Ahmadinejad is gonna play ball.

Fecking Telesales People...

2006-12-01T13:26:00.000+01:00

Whoever invented this genius way to annoy the shit out of people should die a slow death, if he's still alive. For it had to be a man.

Not for the first time, a rare chance for a weekday lie-in was ruined by a chuffing telesales person phoning early and waking me up. Now I took over the same number as the person that used to live here, so these telespammers always ask for Mr. E. I use the old "He's not here, I don't speak German" excuse and that normally shoos them off. I have used the old 'Fu ck off and die' followed by hanging up, but only when particularly peeved; it's just a job at the end of the day. The mum of one of my best mates is so polite that she can't bring herself to hang up on people, and one time found herself on for 5 minutes, not wishing to be rude. I put the phone down for her, and pointed out BT's telesales blocker thing to her.

These people fu ck me off no end; it's the reason why I refuse to ever take an outbound sales job of any description. Other people in this bracket are those trying to sell you newspapers you don't want or need, or charity 'volunteers' trying to get you to donate 3 pounds a month to assuage your conscience so little Chi Chi has the chance of a better life. Tbh, if I want to give something or buy something I'll do it of my own free will and not be haranged into it by aggressive sales people. My beef isn't with them, I see young people in Berlin getting knocked back again and again, it must be a soul-destroying job, but I imagine they don't have much other choice. My anger is with the companies and chiefs who create such jobs.

Does anyone EVER buy anything on the back of a random phone call? I'm sure they do, but I don't think I've ever met them.

This however cheers me up, know you've probably seen it, but it is classic nonetheless. I give you the Exploding Whale:

French Football And Anti-Semitism Ends in Tragedy...

2006-11-24T10:50:00.000+01:00

...but this time for the anti-semite agressors themselves.

This from the Jerusalem Post online:

Paris: 1 dead as cop defends Hapoel fan

A plain clothes police officer shot into a crowd of skirmishing soccer fans Thursday as he tried to protect supporters of Hapoel Tel Aviv, killing one person and injuring another, police said.

The 11 p.m. (2200 GMT) incident at a McDonald's fast food restaurant near the Parc des Princes stadium occurred after Hapoel Tel Aviv's 4-2 victory over Paris Saint-Germain in a UEFA Cup match.

The police officer, who was not identified, was trying to protect a Hapoel Tel Aviv fan set upon by some 150 PSG supporters, police said.

The officer lobbed tear gas when the crowd went after the Hapoel supporter then fired two shots, "having been driven into a corner," police said.

Two PSG fans were injured, with one dying later, police said. The victims were not identified.

The Paris prosecutor's office and the National Police General Inspection unit, which probes incidents involving law enforcement officers, were investigating, police said.

Hapoel Tel Aviv spokesman Amir Lubin told Army Radio that throughout the match there was a very hostile atmosphere towards Hapoel and its supporters. "The Israeli crowd, who came to support their team, really wound up the local fans," said Lubin.

"We could here the chants of the French crowd which were in no way connected to football," he continued.

"It was obvious that the PSG supporters were enraged by the result of the game but we didn't imagine it would come to this," he said.

More info can be gained from TF1

This incident could be used as propaganda by the French far-right in the lead-up to the French Presidential elections: "Black French Cop Kills White French Patriot Defending Jew", or some such shite.

There seems to be a lot of confusion surrounding the whole incident. What is clear is that Paris Saint Germain fans, pissed that their team had been stuffed 4-2 at home by Hapoel Tel-Aviv, decided to attack an Israel falg-bearing Hapoel fan. Up to 150 were around him, and set upon him, followed by all sorts of anti-semitic and racist comments.

A policeman, as is his duty, intervened to try to come to the aid of the man, let off a tear-gas canister, and eventually, when he was backed into a corner, had to fire 2 shots in self-defence, killing one PSG fan instantly and critically injuring another. He managed to flee and take refuge in a nearby McDonalds, and the Israeli fan got away too.

The incident was made so confusing by the fact that the policeman was wearing no police trappings or bib as he should have been, which confused the crowd who took him for a flipped-out hooligan. The other issue was that the policeman was black, of Antillian origin. This no doubt enraged the crowd even more, who shouted such niceties as:

"Dirty nigger"

"Blue white red, France for the French"

and it appears the did recognise him as a cop, as the racist ultras of PSG do not tolerate non-whites, and so they shouted in pursuit "It's a cop, it's a cop, get him"

PSG Ultras, called the 'Boulogne Boys', are notoriously racist and anti-semitic, as a French documentary about a year ago showed.

For example, chants such as "La France est blanche [France is white]" are commonplace. See BBC and Breitbart.com for a brief insight.

Crazy stuff. Good that the Israeli fan got away.

Just So You Know Who's On The Right Side In Northern Ireland...

2006-11-23T12:13:00.001+01:00

... a picture of a Donegal Celtic 'fan' at last Saturday's match, trying to provoke the mostly Protestant/ Unionist/ pro-UK Linfield fans:

Birds of a feather flock together, whether it's under the anti-imperialist, pro-socialist, anti-British, anti-American, anti-Israel, or pro-'National' freedom struggle banner.

Truly there's a veritable plethora of Idiot of the Week candidates this time round.

Human Shield Watch

2006-11-23T11:55:00.000+01:00

Now the moron Catholics are at it (hat tip: LGF).

From Ynet news:

Father Peter Dougherty, 65, left, and Sister Mary Ellen Gundeck, 55, right, both Michigan-based peace activists, sit on the roof top of the house of Mohammed weil Baroud, leader of the Popular Resistance Committees that Israel targeted for destruction, in Beit Layiha, northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2006. They are the first foreigners to join a week-long standoff between Palestinian ‘human shields’ and the Israeli air force. (AP Photo/Khalil Hamra)

Let me get this right, these morons are trying to protect life by sitting on the roof of a building the IDF has targeted for destruction due to the fact that it is being used as a base for Pally terrorists firing rockets into Israel. So Israeli life is cheaper than Palestinian life? If so, does it mean I am justified in hoping that the IDF bomb the shit out of these 'useful infidels'?

*shakes head*

Just Another Saturday Night

2006-11-19T22:58:00.000+01:00

Or: Where am I?

People who know me know that when drunk, despite my homing pigeon instinct (which has enabled me for example to get home from a home party in Munich back to the place where I was staying despite neber having been to Munich before), I have an amusing tendency to fall asleep on the train/ walk around aimlessly and get lost. My memory loss when inebriated doubtless contributes to this. Various highlights, bearing in mind that I am reporting most as they probably happened, given that I was drunk and lose my memory when so:

1. Boozing through the night with some random Scouse girl in Berlin, falling asleep on the train and ending up on the other side of Berlin.
2. 2003: In Gillingham, walking off from the others after a night out, coming to consciousness in a housing estate near some fields, and phoning my mate Neil to tell him exactly that at 3.30am when they'd been frantically searching for me.
3. 2004: Gillingham take 2, I got chucked out of a club for being too blocked (me and Neil had demolished most of a bottle of voddy between us and beers) I couldn't stand apparently and was bumping into people, and the other 2 were still inside, so I went off on a walk. I remember walking for ages through posh residential areas; eventually, at 4am, I'm conscious outside a service station on the A2, MILES from where I was, I phone Neil's dad who handily placed his contact details in my wallet, foreseeing such an event :) wake him up, and he comes to get me
4. Trying to get my dad and bro onto the wrong tram on the wrong side of the street going one stop in Berlin, insisting I was right despite my more sober mate Doughnut Boy telling me I was wrong, and my dad ripping the zip on my coat getting me to go the right way
5. Being woken up at 5.30am by a rubbish truck in Ibiza, lying in a driveway, seeing a shop window front with a load of beachballs and sea equipment, fully clothed, suddenly realising I was in an alley next to our hotel, where I'd obviously decided to sleep after an excess of vodka and red bull.

There's countless, no doubt I've forgotten loads. But my Saturday night is up there with the best.

I was invited to a big house party on Saturday night. The band Egotronic were playing, for free (the first time I've seen them, and they were very good). Had a good night, lots of rooms, lots of people, 1 EUR beers from the shop next door, singing karaoke including the inevitable 'With Or Without You' (I got a good round of applause) and... apparently got drunk, even though I can remember pretty much all the night. Thing is, my brain switches off when drunk, and I never know when that stage will be reached.

The reason this night was up there, and somewhat exceptional, was that I was on my bike. Berlin's a different world to anywhere in the UK. We go by bike everywhere that's bikeable, even to nights out and parties. But Nikita and co. left the party earlier than me on Saturday, and I decided to leave on my own before S. when I was tired and had had enough. And this is where things started to go wrong.

Have a look at the map:

Where
1. Blue circle: location of party (new part of Berlin to me)
2. Green circle: location of my house (and desired destination)
3. Huge fu ck-off red circle: approximately where I ended up.

All in all, I must have cycled at least 12 miles for a 4-mile journey. I have no idea how this came about. If I'd taken a right anywhere, and kept going south, I'd have been in the centre of Berlin, and so no more than 15 minutes from home. Ironically, this is what I did at one point, except I was not cycling South. If I'd carried straight along the road I was on, I'd have ended up roughly where I used to live, barely 10 minutes from home.

But no. Jim decides to turn left and cycle North. In the wrong direction. I remember cycling for miles down cobbled avenues, thinking I was going south, checking the bus and tram shelters for place names and maps, and realising I was going the opposite way. Evntually, I got onto a big main road I knew from years back when I was driving from kindergarten to kindergarten in Berlin, and started bombing along this. But saw no road signs for Pankow, where I wanted to go, or even Rosenthal, where one of the old kindergartens was, but rather signs to places I knew where in the West. I thought I'd cycle to an overground train station a little further away and wait for the firt train and get on with my bike, but it was hours away and a long distance on the bike. So I stopped at a garage and asked the guy which direction Pankow was in. He must have thought who the hell this guy was... but pointed me in the total opposite direction to which I was going. I started bombing along the road and sure enough I finally got onto the old route I used to take. But I didn't realise how long it was on bike compared to car...

So all in all, a journey that should have taken me 20 minutes took me an hour and a half. I was raging. On the one hand, I have legs of steel now. On the other hand, it did nothing for my hangover, and I was dead till 3pm today. As you can see, my period of abstinence is at an end. But it's nights like last night that make me want to stop again.

For news of Hancot's other more football-related exploits on Saturday, click here.

To be continued...

Human Shield Watch

2006-11-19T12:40:00.000+01:00

They're calling it a 'protest' this time:
Protests force Israel to halt airstrikes

Palestinian terrorists really are in a win-win situation with this one.

The Rotten Underbelly of German Football - Part 2

2006-11-13T21:22:00.000+01:00

Zwickau - Chemnitz, Saturday 11th October 2006.

The World Cup is a distant memory. The true face of German football is rearing its ugly head time and again. This time, yet again, it's our East German 4th Division fans who have brought shame on the German game, hot on the heels of Dynamo Dresden. This report freely translated from Spiegel Online:

Racism, Hooliganism, Abandoned Games

Yet another scandal in East German football: at the Oberliga (4th division) game between Zwickau and Chemnitz, there were yet more racist attacks and riots. Spectators racially abused black players and fired rockets onto the pitch. In Plauen, bottles rained on police officers.

Plastered all over Zwickau to welcome the Chemnitz fans: stickers with the legend „Gypsy-CFC“. Dark-skinned Chemnitz players, among them Gerard Sambou and Yakubu Adamu, were greeted by some Zwickau fans with monkey noises. The stadium announcer unfortunately didn’t step in to condemn the noise which everyone in the stadium could hear.

When he did finally pipe up, it was to warn fans against firing rockets onto the pitch and that such an act could lead to the game being abandoned, without mentioning that racist chants could be worse for the club, with possible relegation on the cards.

The referee let the game continue after this short interruption. However, fans continued to show a disregard for directives, forcing the referee Mattig to take the players off the pitch and ask the police to step in. The game could be continued to its conclusion 15 minutes later after the security forces intervened.

The racist incidents have apparently been mentioned by referee observer Adolf Prokop in his match report, not least because Chemnitz officials complained about the chants and abuse.

After the game, Volker Seifert, Zwickau President, announced his resignation in front of millions of TV viewers on ‚Sportschau’, in tears, disgusted at the acts of his own fans. “I can’t believe that we have been shot down by our own fans. We all knew that the club was under observation, we will be punished strongly; some of our own fans have kicked us in the stomach”. As repeat offenders and as a club under observation, they now face drastic sanctions.

Toralf Wagner, Zwickau chairman, spoke of a ‚catastrophe’ and of ‚headcases’, who must be personally be caught and charged. A fan project spokesman talked of outside agitators who used such games for their own ends, but regarded security problems in the old stadium as unavoidable.

Sport Bild sent a secret reporter into the Dynamo Dresden fanblock for a recent meeting with Berlin's current second club, 1.FC Union. The guy was lucky to get out alive, man the photos are priceless, he looks so out of place, dressed in woollen sweater and no colours, among all these growling screaming dodgy right-wing Dresden fans in scarves, hoodies, baseball caps etc, I'll try to scan the photos later. But he reported some particularly nice chants, among them the old classic "Jew Berlin" and an old neo-Nazi favourite modified by the Unioners:

"Germany For The Germans, Saxons Out!"

Just for the record, here's a (by no means complete) chronicle of all racist and anti-semitic incidents at German domestic games in 2006:

Halle

March 2006: During the Oberliga (Division 4) game between Halleschen FC and FC Sachsen Leipzig, the Nigerian away team player Adebowale Ogungbure was racially abused from the stands and reacted to this provokation by showing the Hitler salute. As a result, Ogungbure was attacked on the pitch by some spectators. After the game, the Public Prosecutor’s Office initiated proceedings against the player for the displaying of a gesture banned by the constitution. After public protest, proceedings were stopped. Both clubs were merely fined for the igniting of fireworks, 600 EUR for Halle, 300 for Leipzig. No action was taken against the xenophobic chants as the incident was mentioned neither in the referee’s nor in the observer’s report.

Rostock

In September, black international Gerald Asamoah was the victim of racist insults during the cup match between Schalke 04 and Hansa Rostock II on live TV. Hansa was condemned to playing a game behind closed doors as well as a fine of 20000 EUR.

Aachen

During the Bundesliga game between Alemannia Aachen and Borussia Mönchengladbach, black players Moses Sichone (Aachen) and Kahé (Gladbach) were racially abused by opposition fans in the same match. Aachen got a 50000 EUR fine, Gladbach 19000.

Berlin

On 26th September, during the 9^th division game against Altglienicke, players of TuS Makkabi II left the pitch after anti-semitic abuse. The hosts have to play two games behind closed doors as a punishment.

On 28th October, after the Regionalliga (3rd division) game between Hertha BSC II and Dynamo Dresden, riots took place between away fans, the police and Berlin hooligans, all this after Dresden fans had chanted anti-semitic slogans incessantly during the game. 20 people were injured, some seriously. Prosecutions are continuing.

Leipzig

In October, in the Oberliga (division 4) game between Halleschen FC and Sachen Leipzig II, Adebowale Ogungbure was yet again racially abused. Repeat offenders Halle have to play a game behind closed doors.

Augsburg

At the end of October, riots occurred during and after the 2^nd division game between FC Augsburg und dem TSV 1860 München. During the game, 150 Munich fans rioted in the fan block, requiring the police to use pepper spray. 56 fans suffered from eye injuries and had to be treated. 21 hooligans were arrested.

No doubt to be continued and expanded upon...

Deutschland - Ein Herbstnachtsalbtraum.

Human Shields

2006-11-03T16:40:00.000+01:00

Israel is guilty yet again.

The old familiar pattern of those freedom-fighters who cherish life so much:

1. Hamas and Hizbollah fighters retreat to a mosque.
2. They fire on Israeli troops to provoke a response,
3. They use, or call on radio for women to stand outside the mosque as human shields.
4. They continue to fire on the IDF while mingling in among the mothers and women.
5. Israeli troops are forced to respond.
6. The mosque or some of the women are hit in collatoral damage.
7. Israel is blamed as being callous, uncaring about human life and human rights, in short, is demonised as the Great Satan.

This cartoon sums it up pretty well:
(Thanks to Anja for the pic)

Colonel De Viti, founding father of Sar-El, summed it up quite well. Quoting a well-known Arab leader, he said:

"Your [the West's] problem is that you love life, while we [Islamofascists] love death."

No sympathy.

Moonbat On The Loose

2006-11-03T11:08:00.000+01:00

Rangers vs Maccabi Haifa, Glasgow.

Middle East protest disrupts game

A Middle East protester had to be removed from the pitch during Rangers' Uefa Cup game against Israeli side Maccabi Haifa in Glasgow.

The man ran about 50 yards across the park wearing a Palestinian flag around his shoulders during the second half of the game at Ibrox.

He then attempted to handcuff himself to a goalpost in what was thought to be a protest against the visiting side.

Stewards and police officers caught the man and carried him off.

The protest sparked angry shouts from home and away supporters as travelling fans waved Israeli flags.

The game was held up for several minutes.

Strange, this is the only image I could find of the moonbat thus far on the WWW.

See also: Goalpost protest during Rangers match

Earlier in the week Rangers Supporters for Palestine, an offshoot of the Scottish Friends of Palestine movement, had threatened "peaceful, nonviolent, direct action" at the match.

I very much doubt that this group exists. Observe the reaction of Rangers fans and decide for yourselves. Sounds like Celtic fans in disguise to me. The dude is lucky police got to him first.

Hope this puts to bed the accusations of 'Blue Shirt' I get from people . Rangers fans often deservedly get a bad press, but their stance on Israel is much more admirable than the soi disant 'super anti-fascists' from Celtic. Just wave an Israel flag at Ibrox, then at Celtic Park, stand back, and watch the reaction.

St. Pauli and Celtic: anti-semitic Bothers-In-Arms.

UPDATE: Have a look at his photo. Hmm, methinks not a Rangers fan.

Lies, Damned Lies, And Lancet

2006-11-01T16:11:00.000+01:00

I was just thinking about that Lancet claim as to the number of dead in the Iraq war after having been sent an email about it giving some more realistic figures on it, including, among others, from the anti-war Iraq Body Count.. I already knew it was a crock, but I thought I'd do a bit of basic 'math' to check it out.

Iraqi war deaths according to Lancet: 601,027

Number of days the war has lasted: approx 3.5(years) x 365(days) = 1277.5

Therefore, daily number of Iraqi war deaths according to Lancet:

FOUR HUNDRED AND SEVENTY.

Please.

A Reader Writes...

2006-11-01T14:43:00.000+01:00

Dear Jim,

I noticed recently that there has been a bit of a furore in the UK over the burning of flags, and a debate as to whether said practice should be banned, among other reasons, as it incites hatred. I am already familiar with such images in the Arab world, where no good anti-Western demo is complete without a bit of pyromaniac jiggery-pokery, but I was wondering if there would be a photo in the Hancot archive of a 'Westerner' performing such an act?

Regards,

Mike Giggler.

Well Mike, only too glad to oblige. Pancake Annie, take it away...

The Rotten Underbelly of German Football

2006-10-30T22:33:00.000+01:00

Lots of friends went to Germany for the World Cup and had only good things to say about it. German football has the highest attendances in Europe, tickets are cheap, you can drink beer, the Bundesliga is thriving despite the average performances of their teams in Europe.

However, scratch below the surface, and you'll uncover society's real problems and prejudices coming to light. Hot on the heels of the anti-semitic shame game in Berlin a few weeks back and Stuttgart Kickers-Hertha match getting abandoned due to the linesman being hit by a missile, at the weekend, there were at least 3 separate incidents of major violence at lower league German matches, including major riots not even a mile from where I live, at the 3rd division Hertha Amateurs- Dynamo Dresden match.

Endi, fellow TeBe Party Army member, was there and reported all sorts of 'fun', including chants of "Juden Berlin" [Jew-Berlin] and "Jude Jude Jude! B-F-C!" [calling their rivals Dynamo Berlin Jews] Recall that this is commonplace behavour in East Germany, in fact Dresden fans it seems have not learned their lesson from taunts aimed at them from Cottbus fns in December 2005. Nice videos are available on Endi's blog. Bear in mind that this wasn't just a case of 20 or 30 isolated fans chanting these songs, but the whole curve. Repeatedly.

East German football is rotten to the core, reflecting the malaise in society there which has led to the post-Nazi NPD getting representation in all East German State parliaments. More education needed.

For a report on a non-eventful, gay (in the homosexual sense), almost peaceful game of football in deepest East Germany, check out TeBe Party Army. Bye bye promotion.

Are You Cold, Or Do You Have Something Against Jews?

2006-10-22T12:07:00.000+02:00

or... Cool Kids Don't Wear Palestinian Scarves

Some nice neo-Nazis on another march

This subject is one that has been bothering me for a while now, it came up recently in lilapapierschwein's blog (in German); while I was in Sweden, the number of people wearing this piece of cloth surprised me: middle-class richkids just walking around carrying H&M shopping bags, a dumb punk rock chick at the airport, bleached blonde hair, bright red lipstick, with one of these scarves round her neck; a teenager in Babelsberg's supporters bar serving us last week; in Berlin, seeing grey-haired middle-aged women who should know better cycling past me; and the last straw, watching a copy of Top Gear's Winter Olympics special, and seeing Jeremy Clarkson (!) of all people wearing one.

Now I know about the anti-semitic British left and their love for all things Pally, I've written them off, my beef is not with them here. My beef is with naive kids, especially in Berlin or elsewhere, who think this scarf is somehow 'left-wing' or marks them out as being alternative from the Nazis. First thing these kids all over the world need to ask themselves is why German Nazis feel very comfortable wearing Palestinian scarves themselves? To wit:

Christian worch, Career Nazi

The second thing they need to do is ask why this piece of material came into prominence, what it symbolises, and therefore what sort of statement they are making by wearing this.

To this end, a few years back, some Berlin left-wing groups released a flyer which explains the history of the Palestinian scarf very well, what it means to wear it, and lets kids make up their own minds. It is aimed at a German audience, so much of the translation will be irrelevant to a British/ American audience, but I'll translate it here, and maybe see about 'Anglicising' it later. The German original can be found here (I'm gonna print this out, make photocopies which I'll then distribute to every German 'left-wing' kid I see wearing this). Bear in mind that where I've written 'Nation', the German uses the much stronger and Nationalist 'Volk', linking ideas of blood and race.

Cool Kids Don’t Wear Pally Scarves

[This flyer was handed out on the LL (Luxemburg/Liebknecht) demo 2002 by the Young Democrats/JLB]

OK, you’re somewhat surprised. You wear a Palestinian scarf. You’re young, maybe you’d call yourself radical, maybe not. Maybe you’re an antifascist, maybe not. In any case, you wear a Palestinian scarf.

Maybe you’ve just bought it, maybe you’ve had it for a while. To get to the point: Every item of clothing is a statement. Every item of clothing has a (hi)story. And especially this one. Since 1968, when students were for the Vietcong and against the Americans in Vietnam, this item of clothing has gradually become fashionable.
At that time, so-called National liberation movements, such as that of 1968-1975 in Vietnam, were the focus of solidarity. The Vietnamese Nation (Volk) was fighting for its freedom – in the nineties, it was the Kurdish Nation (Volk) that was fighting for ist freedom, or the Palestinian Nation (Volk). In every case, it was a Nation (Volk) in question. Strange somehow.

In Germany today, only the Nazis still talk of National liberation and refer to the just struggle of the Palestinian Nation (Volk), against Israel, against the State of the Jews. And here we are. At the conflict between Palestinians and Israel. Already, between 1936 and 1939, this item of clothing, originally worn only by the rural Fedayin of Arabia, was imposed by the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem (al-Husseini, the great Nazi collaborator) upon his own people upon threat of punishment. European headwear was forbidden. Those resisting this imposition were assaulted or shot dead. The German National Socialists supported this Grand Mufti financially. Thus, the Nazis started a press campaign in Berlin against the partition of Palestine. The Grand Mufti promptly thanked the German Nazis: in this way, the German government did the independence struggle of the Arabs in Palestine a great service. The Palestinian scarf is an expression of the fight against Israel.

The establishment of the State of Israel did not originate, for example, because the USA needed a bridgehead in the Middle East, but rather as a result of European and Asian anti-Semitism. Israel is the direct result of the mass extermination of European Jewry by the national socialist Germans. Normal German civil servants manned the crematoria, normal German soldiers shot dead men women and children indiscriminately. Normal German housewives bought Arianised furniture at auction and moved into the houses of murdered Jews. So, it seems strange at the very least when the children of the once defeated Germans chose Palestine as the focus of their solidarity in the 70s and 80s.

Why Palestine?
Because they are against the Jews and their protective State? Not so very long ago, in Hafenstrasse in Hamburg, one could read grafitti such as ‚Boycott Israel’. Along with solidarity with Palestine came the Palestinian scarf to Germany and has remained here steadily to this day. But fundamentally, what should we think of a National liberation movement such as that of the Palestinians, which, at its heart, demands the destruction of the State of Israel? (Accoring to a representative survey of the Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung, 88% of the Palestinian population are in favour of suicide attacks against Israeli civilians.)

Israel as a civil society, on the other hand, is also a protective haven for all those who have no chance in Arab States: gays, lesbians, self-confident women, atheists and non-conformists, who have no desire to end their lives as martyrs.

And why do Nazis wear Pally scarves today? Because they are simply anti-Semites, and because they have a lot of admiration for a Nation (Volk) whose members fight right up to physical self-destruction for their land, which they call holy. Here, Nazis are a bit jealous that they don’t possess this murderous daily life.

The Palestinian scarf is the story of a radical left-wing aberration, or error. It is time to recognise this error and in future to wear a scarf from H&M, C&A or one knitted by dad.

Cool kids don’t wear Pally scarves.

Next up on the hit list: Che Guevara t-shirts and flags. They're not revolutionary and they're not clever.

Al-Quds Day

2006-10-20T13:42:00.000+02:00

Today, the last Friday in October (therefore, of Ramadan) is Al-Quds Day (Jerusalem in Arabic). The day was called into being in 1979 by Ayatollah Khomeini, who said the following:

"I invite Muslims all over the globe to consecrate the last Friday of the holy month of Ramadan as 'Quds Day' and to proclaim the international solidarity of Muslims in support of the legitimate rights of the Muslim people of Palestine." "For many years, I have been notifying the Muslims of the danger posed by the usurper Israel which today has intensified its savage attacks against the Palestinian brothers and sisters, and which, in the south of Lebanon in particular, is continually bombing Palestinian homes in the hope of crushing the Palestinian struggle."

Of course, everyone's favourite Islamofascist, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has been keen to promote the tradition even more, and came out with some belters today. On the Israelis, he said:

"You imposed a group of terrorists... on the region. It is in your own interest to distance yourself from these criminals... This is an ultimatum. Don't complain tomorrow."

"This regime, thanks to God, has lost the reason for its existence. Efforts to stabilise this fake regime, by the grace of God, have completely failed."

"Even if we assume the Holocaust is true, then why should the Palestinians pay the price for it."

He also said millions of Israelis should go back to their countries of origin.

Loads of demos are planned all over the place tomorrow, no doubt in London, I'm sure Indyfadamedia will be able to tell you, and also in Berlin. I'll be there at the counterdemo. Information, also in English, can be found here.

Here are some pictures from last year:

(Bear in mind that these pictures have recently been exposed yet again as fake Pallywood propaganda).

Counter-demo:

So when you consider that Holocaust denial, denial of Israel's right to exist, glorification of suicide bombers, glorification of dictators and caliphates all come together on one demo, you realise that this has to be opposed. If you see any such demos, let your feelings be known.

UPDATE: Photos of the Islamofascists, segregated by sex and with burka fetishists and pali scarves in full effect, here. Photos of the counter-demo (including a cool home-made Hebrew banner ;) )here.

Beer Pressure...

2006-10-15T22:20:00.000+02:00

I'm having a real struggle with my conscience in Berlin at the moment. Maybe I'm getting old or whatever, but right now I don't want to drink beer, am not that fussed about going out all night, getting liquored and partying. In fact, I'd much prefer to drink tea or vanilla coke, watch films or piss around on the computer. In Berlin, this is particularly problematic, seeing as

1. Beer is lovely here.
2. Beer is dirt cheap here.
3. All my friends drink beer at every opportunity.
4. Particularly when going to watch TeBe, my team here, or watching Champions League.

What makes it particularly impossible, and upon reflection, I've always been like this, I can't not drink when others around me are. I feel strange, left out, isolated, as if I'm not taking part, as if I'm not my usual convivial self. Doughnut Boy would express it better by saying I'm a right moody c*nt when I don't drink.

The problem raised its ugly head before TeBe's match on Friday (my match report here). I decided non-alcohol, after the excesses of Guinness in Belfast on the Wednesday. But everyone else was getting wired into the beer. I felt like a bit of a borebag, was less lively, and even T. told me to drink as I'm not as fun when I don't. So I did. And suddenly I perked up. Shocking.

Now, at times I just don't go out when I don't want to drink, or hide myself away. I know a few people here that can be sober in a crowd of drinkers, and I doff my cap to them. But not me. Tragic. Any advice?

The World Cup Aftermath - Hot Or Not?

2006-10-10T18:08:00.000+02:00

Stern, that magazine that wants us to take it so seriously like we do with Der Spiegel but which will forever and a day be associated with the infamous forged Hitler diaries, really does scrape the barrel with its "Vote for your Sexiest World Cup Girls" section.

Here, you can give photoed girls a rating of 1- really bad to 10- very good depending on how they look. No I'm no fan of this stupid anti-lookism movement, but it really is tacky and shit; in addition, the girls are divided by country, even though there's no sign that that's where they come from, and girls from the USA, for example, are pictured in an unflattering light.

I'll give them their dues though in one respect: they got English girls spot-on. They really are that pig-ugly.

*steps back and awaits the inevitable shitstorm*

N.B. I, err, came across this site via a World Cp photos search. Err...

Top Movie Of The Week

2006-10-10T17:48:00.000+02:00

The man Thorsten has done it again. Check this freebie out:

Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West

On a not-quite-similar theme, B.Z., Berlin's equivalent to the sun, has a cracking front page today:

The headline: "THE FREAK LIGHTS THE BOMB - And the West negotiated, and negotiated, and negotiated..."

I'm warming to them.

Shit Movie Of The Week

2006-10-10T17:13:00.000+02:00

Step forward "
Deutschland- Ein Sommermaerchen [a summer fairytale]".

A docusoap to the heroes of the summer of 2006 who finished up as second loser in their own World Cup. But that doesn't matter, Germany has created their own myth and called themselves the "World Champions of Hearts" or some such soppy crap. They've even made similar such keyrings, with a black-red-yellow heart in the middle. The Germans always have to be world champions at something, even if it is in their imagination.

My movie to the German National Team would have been a mixture of these kinds of photo:

And my favourite youtube video of them all:

'Deutschland - a Midsummer Nightmare' coming to a computer screen near you soon.

Football, not Politics

2006-10-10T00:39:00.000+02:00

I'm not lazing around doing sweet FA. I could write about funny stuff I saw on the web today, like the Zionists being responsible for Darfur, or Bush being responsible for North Korea's nuclear tests, or Jack Straw being an evil infidel for wanting to see the faces of his interlocutors (it is their choice, after all) but no. Football is my obsession and that's what I do. Erm, I mean watch. And very occasionally play. Badly.

Anyway this on some crazy anti-semitism in Berlin football,

and this on a Norn Iron away trip to Copenhagen. Soon. Gotta get my new comfy bed sorted out :)

IKEA

2006-10-10T00:36:00.000+02:00

Fits in nicely with the Sweden post. I really have turned full-circle since my post-uni days. I love IKEA. There, I said it. Well- I needed a new duvet, covers, a computer chair, candle, clothes hanger thing, lights, etc. Erm...

Two job interviews tomorrow. Both as English teacher. And that after half a day of going round (central) Berlin handing out my CV to language schools. Maybe I'm fated to teach...

Sweden

2006-10-05T22:08:00.000+02:00

I'm in Sweden for a few days, then off to Denmark to support the local economy and see Norn Iron lose. I don't even follow them, but a good way to pass the time anyway. Know I'm going to get in trouble with the ultra-PC 'Green And White Army' for wearing a Linfield polo shirt, but I dunt have any NI gear, and surely an Irish League t-shirt is the next best thing?

Malmoe's lovely, much nicer than Berlin. Unfortunately still no digital camera so no photos. Off to Belfast next week too for a family celebration. Still no job, teaching beckons, the very thing I'd wanted to avoid. Shit.

Looks Familiar... part 2

2006-10-02T12:37:00.000+02:00

Thanks again to Thorsten for these pics he found on yahoo:

So Israel's out of Lebanon, no more air and sea blockades. Great news. Great to see that UN resolution 1701 is being implemented in full. It is, isn't it? Hizbullah are being disarmed, aren't they? The kidnapped soldiers, Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev, have been freed by Hizbullah? Haven't they? Erm...

Why The UN Are Obselete

2006-10-01T22:42:00.000+02:00

Not to mention corrupt, rotten, impotent, cowardly, hypocritical, and the rest.

Case for the prosecution #1:

Little pressure on Hezbollah to disarm

MARJAYOUN, Lebanon - Six weeks after the end of the Lebanon war, the militant Hezbollah group is facing little on-the-ground pressure to give up its weapons and disarm — despite a U.N. cease-fire resolution demanding just that.
ADVERTISEMENT

The leaders of a U.N. peacekeeping force in south Lebanon say the job is not theirs. And Lebanon's ill-equipped army, some of whose soldiers wear tin-pot helmets and carry outdated M-16 rifles, shows no signs of diving into a confrontation with battle-hardened Hezbollah fighters.

Case for the prosecution #2:

THE CASE AGAINST KOFI ANNAN

It [the UN] was founded by the allies in 1945 to “save succeeding generations from the scourge of war” and “reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights”. Its key documents – the Charter, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the genocide convention – are the most advanced formulation of human rights in history. And they have been flouted by UN member states for decades.

A more specific charge would be that, under the doctrine of command responsibility, the UN is guilty of war crimes. Broadly speaking, it has three principles: that a commander ordered atrocities to be carried out, that he failed to stop them, despite being able to, or failed to punish those responsible. The case rests on the second, that in Rwanda in 1994, in Srebrenica in 1995 and in Darfur since 2003, the UN knew war crimes were occurring or about to occur, but failed to stop them, despite having the means to do so.

Rwanda, Srebrenica, Darfur, sex abuses in the Congo, oil-for-food corruption scandal: Kofi Annan, you've done a great job and should be remembered for all these fine moments.

If only your leaving party were a trial instead. THAT would rock.

I Saw This Today And Thought of You

2006-09-29T17:02:00.000+02:00

This is for all those out there, especially the Plastic Paddies who have a love of 'the craic' and get my side of the fence wrong (check out the ending :) ). Happens all the time when you're away from Norn Iron. And yes, I'm 'Oirish' when it suits me, see St. Paddy's Day threads re free beer :)

Good Old Harry Hill.

Looks Familiar...

2006-09-26T23:17:00.000+02:00

Thanks to Greg for the hat tip. Check out this report from Yahoo. Also look very closely at the epilets on the shoulders of the 'soldiers'.

TYRE, Lebanon (AFP) - The UN peacekeeping force in Lebanon says it has asked
Israel to dismantle a barbed-wire barrier that it charges is a violation of the UN-drawn border between the two nations, and had received a promise that this would be done.

"We asked them yesterday (Wednesday) to dismantle the new barrier installed in the area next to the border," said Alexander Ivankov, spokesman for the UN Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL).

Ivankov told AFP that UNIFIL considers the barrier, erected near Kfarkila across the border from the Israeli town of Metulla, a "violation, a small violation" of the UN-demarcated Blue Line.

A small violation of about 100 metres, about 1 foot into Lebanese territory, dividing an Israeli outpost from a UN one. I know this as I know who erected it.

Either that or it's yet more misinformation from the Lebanese, using photos of volunteersfor a location they couldn't possibly have been.

But then again, it wouldn't be like them to fabricate things to dicredit the Israelis. Yet again, I doff my cap to Honest Reporting for exposing the ambulance 'rocket attack' sham.

UPDATE: Thorsten sent me an alternative report accompanying this photo, this time from USA Today but with an altogether more neutral caption:

Israeli soldiers fix a new part of barbed wire fence at the Israeli-Lebanon border near the Lebanese town of Hula.

Note where Getty images got the photo from: AFP. Note AFP's ambivalence towards Israeli-murdering terrorists, who they refuse to name for what they are. 2 more points:

1. The photographer was a French Canadian
2. That guy in the hat on the left looks awful familiar...

Resist Stupidity

2006-09-26T13:09:00.000+02:00

A 'huge' 'Stop The War' demo took place in Manchester on Saturday, as best reported on LGF and moonbatmedia. Here are just two of the countless photos that make me shake my head in sheer disbelief, from the naive:

to the downright stoopid:

(Thanks to http://moonbatmedia.com/ for the pics)

Let me just state that these people are my new natural enemies. Not Islamofascists themselves, others can do that better, but these turkeys actively voting for their own Christmas by supporting and defending regimes and movements that, if left unchecked by the real antifascists of the world, led by the USA and Israel, would wipe every single one of these infidels out. I really can't believe how dumb these people are.

So from now on, in the UK, if I even so much as sniff a dumbass anti-war demo, the appropriate t-shirt will be donned:

and a can of abusive whoopass cracked open. The gloves are off.

Shalom From Israel

2006-09-15T07:50:00.000+02:00

Boker Tov.

Sorry for the lack of blogging, to those that care, but I've been busy in Israel and where I am has no internet access. In keeping with my general vagueness as to what I'm doing here, I'll tell those that need/ want to know exactly what I've been up to when I get back. It's amazing. What a beautiful country. I've been keeping a diary, but it's too long and too boring to reproduce here. I've taken loads of photos too. I arived in Jerusalem last night for the weekend, and I'm well excited by the Old City, Western Wall, TEmple on the Mount, Yad Vashem et al. Back to Blighty next Friday, back to Germanland next Saturday. Thinking of you all. L'hitraot.

Words I Maybe Shouldn't Have Taught The Students This Week...

2006-08-26T10:35:00.000+02:00

Gotta keep this clean in case the boss is reading (only joking Mr. H.)

- boobs
- slutty
- bird (as in girl)
- rimming (REALLY only joking with this one...)

BUT they were all in context, honest.

Sellick Player Censured for Crossing Himself

2006-08-26T10:30:00.000+02:00

Meh. Dunno what I think about this. Maybe a way of evening the scores after the infamous Gazza flute-playing incident. One is an expression of religion, one is an expression of 'culture'. People who get offended by such things, and others such as flags, should chill out and get out a bit more.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5288184.stm

Church 'alarm' over cross caution

Boruc signed for Celtic in July last yearThe Catholic Church has criticised Scottish prosecutors for cautioning the Celtic goalkeeper for crossing himself during a match against Rangers.
Artur Boruc was cautioned for a breach of the peace over the incident at an Old Firm match at Ibrox in February.

What Are You Supposed To Do?

2006-08-24T21:59:00.000+02:00

A most bizarre thing happened in class yesterday. Last hour of the day, 'Interview With a Native Speaker' questions to be prepared plus bits and pieces for a newspaper project, the usual midweek fun. The usual stragglers arrive late. I'm ready to explain the concept SLOWLY, when in front of me, I spot a kid bearing a white t-shirt with the legend "Adolf Hitler- Tour of Europe 1939-1945" complete with map of Europe. I do a double take. Yep, a Nazi t-shirt.

What should I have done? Or said? Told him to get out, that I won't have anything like that in my class, and spoken with his leaders? Make a scene? Bear in mind that this is a 16 year-old guy who doesn't speak hardly any English and apart from being somewhat unmotivated, isn't a bad kid, wrote a good article on skateboarding etc etc. Any ideas?

But the plot thickens. To the left (for as any fule kno, a horseshoe-shape is the best for a smallish class) was a guy wearing a black t-shirt with a red fist on it. I also could make out some kind of anti-racist message.

Should I have ignored this? Or spoke to him too, even though I largely sympathise with his political views? Said to the class "This t-shirt good, this t-shirt very bad" in an Eddie-Izzard stylee?

What I did was: I went up to both of them in turn and told them to put their jumpers on because I "don't want any political t-shirts in my classroom". I felt slightly ashamed, like a sell-out merchant, for having told the leftie kid to do it, but what should I have done? Was it the best solution? I didn't have time to dwell on it as we rushed off to the Comedy Store last night for a cracking night of improv comedy, Josie Lawrence et al.

To bear in mind: Italians are highly politicised in terms of liking extremes and lacking a core majority of moderates (hence the high number of governments since WW2), fascism is not a dirty word there, and a high number of Italian students have given Napoleon as the answer to who is the historical person they most admire, "because he was a great general". Not a million miles of distance from Napoleon to Adolf.

Apostrophe Catastrophe

2006-08-18T21:50:00.000+02:00

Actually it’s more like ‘inverted commas’ catastrophe, but that dunt rhyme so well.

In the olden days, as far as I can see from old billboards and advertising posters, there was very much a trend to put “” speech marks or inverted commas round products, so we had Gallagher’s “Blues” or “Fisherman’s Friend”.

This quaint tradition has sadly died out, but has been replaced by something altogether more hilarious, most typically on notice boards and sandwich (?) boards outside the shops of apparent imbeciles or at least semi-literate folk.

I give you: TRY OUR NEW “FISH”.

“COFFEE” AND “TEAS” SERVED HERE.

WHY do these people do this?? Do they think it makes their goods more striking? Is it to emphasise the greatness of the goods in question? I would welcome any feedback, as I am stumped. To me, it merely symbolises that the goods on offer are in fact pseudo-“fish” and “teas”, a processed version, in much the same way that KFC had to change their name as their products weren’t in fact “chicken”.

But the absolute best example I’ve heard of of this came from good ole Dan. While in Berlin, he told us of a shop near him, outside which a sandwich board stands with the legend:

COME ON “IN”

What. The. Fuck. As in don’t come ‘in’ in the literal sense of the word? Why? Why? Yes I’m not 100% today.

'Arrow Summer School part 2

2006-08-15T23:43:00.000+02:00

2 weeks to go. Thank God.

Last day today with another of my groups, it's good that they only stay 2 weeks, keeps everything just fresh enough to keep you going. Last group for the summer arrives tomorrow. Will they be 'sheets'? Law of averages says 'yeess', I've had 2 great groups in a row. Some AMs (Activity Monitors, for you not in the summer school lingo loop) have been getting really emotional when 'their' groups have left. Pah. After 6 summers, I'm glad to see the back of the scamps.

Jim loves:

- Evenings and weekends off.
- *whispers* Midweek days off.
- Earning lots of money
- Film-star treatment with photos galore at the end of courses. Good for the ego.
- Crappy London weather - Italians are more keen being in the classroom when it's grey and cold out.

Jim hates:

-Italian students having parties in the flat above him at 1.30 am (old man...)
- THAT FUCKING ITALIAN VERSION OF SEVEN NATION ARMY. I wish they'd never ever won the bastarding W*rld C*p.
- Crappy London weather when he wants to get a tan.
- A Swedish girl having gone home on Sunday.
- The Inland Revenue playing hardball over 300 chuffin quid of MY money.

Something Jim has learned today:

Not to take everything people says so seriously, and not to try to deal with something immediately that was actually nothing. Not a good morning.

Summer in ‘Arrow

2006-08-02T20:49:00.000+02:00

My blog hasn’t been inspiring me lately, as you’ve probably noticed. A lack of time and inspiration, not to mention detachment from the outside world due to overwork and under-online access has made this Jack(ass) a dull boy. I want to do something different, so I thought starting with my job and what stuff happens would be good.

I work in a summer school where 95% of the students are Italian.
This is my sixth summer here.
The students are here for 2 weeks, and English lessons are secondary to the Big Bang, Piccadilly Cear-coos and the shopping.
My particular students are beneficiaries of a state-subsided holiday camp scheme for Italian government workers, and are, shall we say, very Italian, esp the Napolitan and Sicilian ones, as Vanda may or may not corroborate.
The amount of stuff they learn or actually can learn in a 2-week period is slim to none. An example: When leaving the class today, one of the better students said “Hi Mark”. Ciao. Goodbye and hello in Italian.

However, on the other hand, constant drilling and repetition in a Harry Hill style, for he is my teaching role model, can pay off. You can’t imagine my delight when a girl described apples, pears and bananas as ‘froots’ instead of the usual Italian ‘froo-eats’. Small victories, I know.

Mark’s next challenge: to explain that funny is not the adjective from fun, but rather something hilarious. An example from their yearbooks yesterday:

“Funniest moment in London: “Piccadilly Circus””. Hmm.

The Right To Defend Yourself

2006-07-14T23:17:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the lack of blog activity, but I've been back in England for 2 weeks, have had access to the internet twice and have been working morning, noon and night which as a work-shy fellow, has knackered me somewhat.

Recent developments in Israel have worried my mother somewhat, especially as I still intend to go there in September. What has concerned me more has been the UK press's reprting of the whole situation. It took me to read 'Die Welt' today to realise how biased it is: take any of the examples of Friday's London Evening Standard, the BBC or Channel Four News as evidence. Evil Israelis target Lebanese civilians, Beirut in flames, a country under siege, Israel flexes its muscles. Cut to 10 minute graphic sad news reports. In other news, Hezbollah kills 2 Israelis in stream of rocket attacks.

I seem to be missing something though:

1. Who started all this? Who are these Hezbollah, what is their ideology, and what do they want? Harry's Place is a good place to start.

2. Why is Israel targeting the airport, blowing up the bridges and motorways? Cos they are evil? Or because they don't want the kidnappers to leave the country with their captured prisoners and get them to Syria or Iran where they're REALLY Donald Ducked?

3. Why have the Lebanese government done NOTHING in 6 years since the withdrawal of the Israeli Army from South Lebanon to stop Hezbollah and their constant rocket attacks on Israeli towns? Why are they doing nothing now? Maybe because their leaders are marionettes of Syria?

4. Why have the French and Russian governments criticised Israel's "excessive force"? Ignoring Algeria and Chechnya, isn't it time for Putin's and Chirac's warm glass of shut the hell up? Are they seriously defending the kidnappings? What should Israel do? Sit back and try 'negotiation'? Oh right, that worked well at Camp David, when the intervention of the De Gaulle wannabe and petty criminal helped to torpedo things again. Chirac, fu ck off. Allez Sarko.

5. What has it brought Israel in the past when they have withdrawn or given back territory with nothing in return? South Lebanon, 2000: Hezbollah moved in and immediately started with the rocket attacks. Gaza, 2005: ditto. Israel cannot afford to be soft with terrorists whose sole goal is the destruction of the State of Israel.

Strangely, I've heard none of this discussed in most of the UK press. Bizarre, that. The Jews are only good when they're victims, it seems.

New banner

2006-06-29T23:01:00.000+02:00

Not bad for a first effort... Party Army!

Deutsche Taeter Sind Keine Opfer

2006-06-28T12:14:00.000+02:00

In today's Jungle World, there is a fascinating and very enlightened interview with Martin Rooney, Wayne's uncle. Unfortunately it's in German and I'm too lazy and don't have enough time to translate it all. I will however translate some of my favourite bits. Bear in mind that this guy is a professor of Germanistics and philosophy, and has lived since 1973 in Bremen.

JW: Recently in Germany, people have been more interested in remembering the German victims of British bombers during World War II.

MR: ...I pointed out that the boomerang that Germany launched at the time came back to Germany with vehemence. The people primarily responsible for all the deaths during the air bombings were Hitler and his party. They started the war with the enthusiastic backing of the German populace - and continued it right up to their self-destruction.

JW: The British [Lancaster] flying bombs are regarded in the minds of the Germans as particularly malicious and criminal.

MR: I always ask people what the difference is between destroying a town from the air or from the ground? The English and Americans destroyed 162 German cities. Hitler's Wehrmacht razed over 18000 towns and cities in Soviet Union to the ground. This comparison has to be seen!

[To Note: In 2003, Martin Rooney was awarded the German Villa-Ichon Bremen Peace Prize for his work in highlighting the Genocide of the Armenians by the Turks. Later, he spole out criticising the German peace movement in the wake of the Iraq war, and his prize was taken off him.] This is what he said:

MR: I have never in my life seen as one-sided a peace demo as the one in Berlin at the outbreak of the Iraq war in 2003. No peace movement is as anti-american, anti-israeli and pro-palestinian as the German peace movement.

In Germany, during the Iraq war, the government exploited anti-americanism for its own ends. And where anti-americanism rages, anti-semitism is not far behind.

Wayne Rooney, do it again!

So Much For Solidarity With Denmark

2006-06-27T13:04:00.000+02:00

Was just listening to the radio there when on came an advert for 'Daenisches Bettenlager' (the Danish Bed Store). The Ad went something like this (translated, obviously):

"For a short time we have beds for the unbelievable price of 88 Euros! 88! 88! We can't say it enough times!"

Erm, yes you can. Especially as in right-wing circles, where 8 represents the 8th letter of the alphabet, H, '88' is therefore translated as 'HH' which I'm sure you can work out for yourselves. If not, think of Combat 18 and work out the first 8 from there.

Or have a look at Wikipedia.

"in neo-nazi circles as a code word for Heil Hitler, H being the 8th letter in the alphabet, so 88 = HH = Heil Hitler."

So you see, not a very smart ad. I have made them aware of their error in judgement.

And while we're at it...

2006-06-26T17:48:00.000+02:00

...German fans at non-Germany games at the World Cup are really pissing me off. Chanting "Deutschland Deutschland" at Ukraine - Tunisia is a bit embarrassing. Shouting "Lukas Podolski" at England- Ecuador is just asking to be slapped. Singing "We're off to Berlin/ Without Holland" is also embarrassingly shit. Wise up you gimps.

Mexican Waves

2006-06-26T17:33:00.000+02:00

I fu cking hate them.

1. They are the classic sign of a game being as dull as dishwater.
2. The people who start them are usually gimps, and when i hear the familiar countdown "10, 9, 8...1, yeah!" I wish these people pestilence and a slow death.
3. The people who take part in these waves are overwhelmingly superficial 'event' fans, who aren't interested in the game. I, and most of my friends, are. We wanna watch the game, you're obstucting my view with your gimpishness. Now sit down and stop being a twat.

And yes, I am aware that I come across here as a grumpy old man/ football snob. There are ways to be a fan. This isn't one of them.

AFFI-Cup 2006

2006-06-26T17:09:00.000+02:00

Hancot actually PLAYED some football at the weekend for the first time in ages. Not bad considering the average temperature was 32 degrees. Full report of the weekend on Part-Time Supporter.

Blog will be properly updated soon. Maybe. Too much football at the moment, you may have guessed, have already received admonishment for my top-heavy football emphasis. Back to Blighty on Friday for the summer, so blogging will be interrupted due to lack of internet access. Bye.

The World As Guests With Friends...

2006-06-19T12:52:00.000+02:00

There have been more incidents, I'll update this post in due course, but first neonazis getting their comeuppance (German) on Saturday night after their 'victims' fought back.

June 18th, Berlin-Schoenefeld: a group of 4 neonazis, two of whom known to the police for prior 'activity', including the wearing of illegal symbols and possessing seditious material, attacked a group of 6 youths exiting a bar late on Saturday night, merely because one of the group was black (of Ethiopian origin). Jumping out from bushes, they ran at the group, shouting 'Fucking Nigger, fuck off' and throwing stones. One hit their intended victim, cracking his skull, and down he went. But then the others defended themselves. In the melee, the gangleader, Dennis E. [JH a scumbag of the highest order] was himself hit with a stone in a case of friendly fire, and down he went, badly hurt, while one of his accomplices, Timo L., was given a kicking. The intended victims managed to flee and alert the police. So now the victim is in hospital along with the two attackers.

Player of the Tournament

2006-06-18T01:23:00.000+02:00

Step forward, John Pentsil! (Story on Haaretz)

F*cking Commercial World Cup

2006-06-17T23:45:00.000+02:00

Typical story about the measures taken to protect the rights of 'exclusive' sponsors, get your kit off:

Fans lose trousers to gain entry

Football's governing body has explained why up to 1,000 Dutch fans watched a World Cup tie wearing no trousers.
Around 1,000 fans arrived for the Ivory Coast tie in their traditional bright orange trousers - but bearing the logo and name of a Dutch brewery.
To protect the rights of the official beer they were denied entry, so the male fans promptly removed the trousers and watched the game in underpants.

That's absolutely ridiculous. That people can't wear clothes cos of a certain label or logo. Who the hell is going to see people's TROUSERS? This commercialism madness is doing my head in. Hup Heineken Hup!

Red Card For Ahmadinejad

2006-06-17T16:20:00.000+02:00

Was just watching the news on ZDF (German BBC2) there and their main news story was about a demonstration in Frankfurt, where Iran are playing today, against their President and the new favourite for Anti-Semite Number One, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Cue lots of Israel flags and banners such as 'Iran Funds Hamas' . Video from an earlier demo in Nuremberg here. Geile Aktion.

Football is boring and I missed the goal. Crap.

Things I've Noticed From Watching Football Today

2006-06-16T22:48:00.000+02:00

1. Refs are a bit whistle-happy. I'd never last 90 minutes.
2. During the Holland match today, I heard the song 'Ohne Holland, fahren wir nach Berlin' = 'We're off to Berlin [for the World Cup final]/ without Holland'. Pretty feckin cheeky of the Germans.
3. Argentina are suddenly favourites in my book.
4. After tipping the correct result for 2 matches yesterday, I've suddenly realise I suck and know nothing at all about football.
5. Every single Angola throw-in has been a foul throw. And what a shit game.

Football Is War

2006-06-16T18:01:00.000+02:00

The English gutter press has been doing it for years (I remember some of the embarrassing headlines from Euro 96 ("ACHTUNG SURRENDR! For you Fritz, ze war is over" and comparing the game vs Spain with the battle of the Armada) which really straddled the boundaries of boyish humour and xenophobia. Now the Germans are really warming to the task. This is today's front page from BZ Sport:

"NOW ENGLAND IS THREATENING But don't worry, Klinsi: you'll beat these flaccidhams!"

Just saw it in the wee shop across the road and had to laugh.

BTW my poster on my door has had to be changed from "Group Stage Exit" to "Quarter Final Exit" (whispers it: the Germans have impressed me so far with their tempo and attacking football).